Can't stop won't stop

AHHHHH. I'm sitting at my desk, and I can't think about anything but dancing. I'm getting soooo many ideas for tops and footwork sets, and I just have to sit here and work. Crap!

Last weekend was soooo busy. I didn't get home until 6am friday, saturday, or sunday. And I was out till 2 or 3 on tues, wed, and thursday. So I'm one sleep deprived bboy. Saki wednesdays may be back. Been going the past 2 weeks and seeing exit and seth again. And always good to party with joni and her crew.

Thursday was an amazing night at modern. There were actually girls there!!! But that never intimidates the halfstep hahaha. But it was a strange night. Usually hot girls ignore me in peace, but for some reason that night I was on point. It all started when I heard my jam and hit the circle hard....a little too hard. I knew my leg was coming off, so I just kicked it off. I guess there were a lot of new comers to modern that night, cause all I heard over the music blasting was a few gasps then loud ass cheers. And my halfstep footwork was on that night. I LOVE MODERN! Anyway after my set i crawled over to the booth to put my leg back on and I got mobbed by like 3 girls. It was nuts. And I was really glad because MJ finally decided to come to modern. Its always nice to see girls who love to "dance". And by dance I don't mean booty shaking. I mean all out this is my floor, my song, ....BYYAHHHHH. That kind of dancing. Anyway its always good to vibe with fresh faces. Then CAB crew hit up cheesesteak factory afterwards and just chilled, it was a good time....although I didn't get to bed till 4 that night.

Friday was fun too. Although I can't say I love eye-bar....cause that places sucks. They should rename it to club sardine, cause that's what I felt like. Even though I went early. There was no one in the techno room early though, so I busted out some headspins all over the floor haha. Threw a lil sum sum down. But then all the Virginians came and the club became butt crowded. Why was I at this dress up only, don't dance unless you're drunk into oblivion spot? It was my homie jenny's bday. So I had to come out and show some love. Got to see a lot of my ex-coworkers which was pretty cool. And I also got to hang out with Jenny's sister cindy who is also pretty cool. Friday night, arrived home at 5:30 haha. Nights of little/no sleep in a row (4)

Saturday was fun too. I started off the day early....11am (ok its early for me on a weekend) When I had to go to House's house workshop. Sound funny enough? House your name is too confusing! Anyway he was teaching house dance, which I am really interested in and the class was a blast and I think I learned a lot. Although I probably still look like a fool on the floor haha. But now I know a little foundation and can practice it. After that I had to head to the jam in manasses. It was a pretty funny jam. Ironman was one of the judges, and we all showed up too late to enter the battles, so we were a little salty. But we laid out an open challenge for anyone to battle cab crew and had a little exhibition battle against some people. It was fun, but I don't think I did as well as I should have. I always get too hype at jams .... Need to practice on that and learn to chill out and just kill the music. After the contest was over, we had a huge MD vs VA battle. And being the only DC cat, I battled everyone!!! hahaha. Ya, halfstep WHAT?! I ended up losing my leg again, and someout managed to do a 2.5 spin headspin drill. My first! I'm so close to headspins I can taste it. My taps are coming along and I'm starting to get more balance. I just need to learn to control my legs a little better. After the jame everyone bum rushed IHOP and we had a lot of fun. After that we drove all the way back to college park and hung out in one of the dorms with some other bboys, and some weird as pot heads. I almost forgot how weird potheads could be.... But it was a lot of laughs and a ton of new inside jokes! Time I got home: 6:00 am.

Sunday was another early day (11:30 ya shutup). Had another workshop, this time from YNOT of rocksteady crew. It was mainly a tops class and really inspired me to come up with some new stuff. Plus I finally got a step that I couldn't figure out for the longest time!!! So now I got some more vocab, and some new ways to increase my flavor. After the workshops I had my culture shock xmas party at dave and busters. It wasn't as fun as I'd hoped. I wasn't really getting any vibes from the place, so I ducked out kind of early and went back to DC dance collective for the workshop after party. Ok after dancing 2.5 hours earlier in the day, I danced from 10pm-5am. Ironman was killing it on the wheels of steel. I met an awesome houser/locker from philly and got to cypher with Ynot. He told me earlier in the day he really liked my style! I had a lot of fun jamming that night. There were only like 10 of us there, but it was sooo fun. Russ brought out a lot of records I never heard him play and that place was just bangin. I can't believe I didn't get home till 6am. Today I'm soooooo tired. Just going to go to sleep when I get home and die haha. Gotta recharge my battery for the trip back to chicago this weekend.

ZzZzZzZzZz
Halfstep

YEEEE HAWWWW!

Damnit I typed this long ass post and accidentally clicked a mousebutton that makes my browser go back and lost it all :(

Anyway this post is to share my weekend. A fun filled time in Houston Texas. It was the most fun I've had at a jam ever, and made me want to start travelling more for bboy events. I also got to chill with some members from my crew (Ironman and Joe Cool) and get to know them a lot better and to have hours of laughing my ass off.

The weekend started thursday night with me being incredibly late to meet up at the airport. Interstate 495 was created by satan. Its the biggest parking lot known to man and I hate it with every fiber of my being. How does it take 2 hours to go 20 miles? Anyway the plane ride was good until we got to houston. I got my first dose of "Southern Hostpitality". When getting off the plane, aparently some woman (of middle eastern decent) was trying to get her suitcase off the stowaway compartment which she should have checked in. Me and my crew were having a discussion, and we didn't really notice. So some asshole redneck looks at her and us and says "Ya got 3 gorillas right here, one of em should help the babaganoosh." WTF? I understand the gorilla thing, but Wtf is babagonoosh? Please use racist terms people can understand. And second, DONT BE A FUCKING RACIST PRICK. My friends shrugged it off, because its probably not smart to get in a fight at an airport, so far from home. Then when we are claiming our checkin luggage, he walks up to russel and is like: "Hey sweetness I heard you were talking shit." Russ just laughed and was like I don't know what you're talking about. Then the guy was like "See that you don't cupcake." At that point we all started laughing our asses off. Now thats the coin term for eachother, cupcake or sweetness. Thanks for giving us some laughs you racist prick, I hope karma catches up with you really soon!

When we got to the airport we met some cool kids from nyc (footclan) and started sessioning with them in a meeting room at the hotel. We stayed up late as hell, and somehow woke up in time for the free breakfast. That breakfast was the bulk of our meal every day haha.

We decided to be on time for the jam so we didn't have to wait in a long ass line to get in. They said doors open up at 3:30, so thats about what time we got there. Doors really opened up at 5:30. So we were standing around forever. But we did get interviewed because we were the first people there. Maybe I'll make the video haha. The battles didn't start till 10. The cyphers were pretty weak. Everyone was just practicing powermoves. No one (except us eastcoast cats) were dancing. But that didn't stop us from repping hard! I was killing the cyphers. Getting mad respect from everyone. No one the whole jam clapped the beat for people, or gave a lot of O's. But at one point I saw an empty circle and got mad, so I hit it hard. Everyone started up the clap, and gave me mad props. Even gamblers!! Haha it was dope.

I watched all the prelim battles so I could get an idea of every crew's style. All the crews except for the east coast crews, furious styles, and flexflave were just pulling power. It was kind of sad. But the power was ok to watch (the first day at least). It was dope to watch gamblers (for the first battle anyway). I also got to see bebo from ground fx again, that guy is cool as hell! And I met a lot of NYC and philly cats. It was really cool. I met wak from Breaks crew nyc, he's so cool, and has a really unique wacky style. But he knew like EVERY song, every word, every strange beat, every piece of musicality, it was dope!

The second day was good too. They told us to show up at noon. We though we'd learned our lessons and didn't come till 1. We were among the first there AGAIN. And they didn't even start playing music till like 2. But we spent most of our time that afternoon in the house/funk room. I met some really cool djs ("big titties" and dp1). "Big titties" is a crazy ass guy. He had us cracking up the whole weekend. And dp1 spun some awesome breaks. And he would even come cypher with us. I think out of the 2 rooms, breaks and funk. The funk room was a lot more fun. It was straight up party atmostphere and everyone was having a good time. Not just practicing like in the breaks room. I even got to meet Flat top, HE IS such a sick popper. He was barely moving, but he was so isolated and so animated. It was amazing. And he gave us props!

The bboy battles the 2nd day were about the same as the first, but here are my highlights. My favorite moment of a battle was Repstyles + Russ vs Gamblers. One of the gamblers tried to rock one of the guys from rep styles. Don't try to rock us east coaster!!!! Anyway the rep styles cat stuck his hand out like he was going to spear him, and the gablers guy just stopped his whole dance and looked really shocked. But he never touched him haha. Everyone was laughing.

My favorite battle was Furious styles vs Gamblers. They really brought it, had dope routines, and the bgirls from that crew were awesome. House and Stuntman have mad mad flavor. I really think they should have won that battle, but it was given to gamblers.

My least favorite battle: havikoro vs flex flave. Flex flave really brought it, had good style, good power, and dope routines. Havikoro is an awesome crew don't get me wrong, but they were being way disrespectful, interupting their routines, touching the other crew. And when they lost, they came out and were whining about it. I can understand if you think you took it, but don't interupt the whole jam. You can talk to the judges later. But they did, they came and asked why. The judges told them the way they voted and why havikoro lost. But they just got mad about it. The judges said lets squash it right now and keep the trash off the message boards...but I heard from my friends, havikoro was talking trash on the message boards. In my opinion flex flave did win it. I think it was way disrespectful on the part of havikoro to interupt the jam and disrespect the judges. It was really sad too, because all the crews in that area really look up to havikoro. And I think a really bad example was set. Its not good for the scene. I give props to the judges for not changing their minds and giving a tie breaker.

I didn't even watch the final battle because i was so mad that furious styles got cheated. So I went into the funk room and they were there. So I got to cypher with them. They are a really cool crew. They seem really close knit and they were all having a blast cyphering together. They treated me really well and I had a lot of fun too.

The house battles were amazing! House(my friend) was going crazy. There were soo many talented dancers. I don't envy the judges. I got to meet Kate's friend from AZ We:Whum, he was really cool. And a really good houser. I suck at house still haha. But I still had a lot of fun. The highlight of those battles for me was seeing a houser called cricket do a 10 foot head glide. It was just plain amazing. They had the final house battle in the main room which kind of sucked, because most of the people weren't into it, so it would have been hard as a dancer to perform 100%.

All in all the jam was just plain dope. I want to travel more. I'm trying to go to evolution in March and even try to get my crew to battle. We gotta train hard though. I feel like I opened up a lot more and really enjoyed hanging out with my crew. I got to understand more about hip hop culture and the bboy scene. I'll be writing more about that later. But MAD MAD props to all the bboys from the ho down. Everyone that came. AND MOTHA FUCKIN CAB CREW REPP'D THAT SHIT HARD!!!

peace
Halfstep

thanksgiving weekend

To get away from work for 4 days is really a great thing.... Although times of holidays are when I miss my family the most. Its kind of hard if you think about it, to pack up everything and leave the place where you grew up, the friends you knew, the family that loves you. I did it almost 3 years ago. Was it hard? Yea it was, but it was my journey, my chance to make my own way. Is it everything I hoped it could be? Not yet, but its on the road, trucking along slowly but surely.

This was probably one of the harder holidays for me, because it was just me. But I was pretty happy to get a ton of texts from friends wishing me a happy holiday. I just chilled at home the whole day and ended up making myself turkey curry. I know it sounds weird...but it was pretty good. Strangely, if you don't bake turkey it tastes the same as chicken.

Thanksgiving night was when I really got to see my new family. I was really happy that modern was open and I was able to keep my thursday tradition. Almost all of CAB crew showed up and it was a really good time. It was one of the few nights I really felt on top of my breaking. Me and Alam battled Brie and Vince, and I was killing it.

Over the weekend I also met a new practice partner from AU, so now I have a place to practice a little closer to home. Also sat night was jc's bday throwdown and that was a lot of fun. Although I'm still not rockin it at that new place yet.

I guess being alone for so long makes you think about a lot of things. Like where is life taking me, how am I doing on this journey, and a lot of other things. I guess its not such a bad thing to have a long weekend alone to regain your perspectives on a lot of things.

In any case my mind got a nice break from everything and I feel pretty refreshed. Hopefully now I'll be a little less lazy about blogging. I also have a renewed vigor for practice.

Being's Thanksgiving is a time for thanks, here is goes. I'm glad to have my family, even if they are halfway around the country, I'm glad they support me even if they wish I was a lot closer to home. I'm thankful for all the new friends I've made here in DC, I'm thankful they've taken me in and accepted me, made me part of their lives. I'm thankful that even though I'm shy they always let me hang around. I'm thankful to be alive, God gave me a second chance 14 years ago, and I'm thankful that I've been able to make the best of it. I'm thankful to be a bboy and be part of the hip hop community. I'm thankful to be a part of culture shock DC, its another one of my families in DC, and finally I'm thankful to be a part of CAB crew, thanks for letting me be down with you guys!

Halfstep

Confidence and dance

So I've been struggling with this for some time now. Having been bboying almost three years now, you would think I would have some confidence in my abilities...well I do to some extent. If you had asked me a few months ago, this wouldn't really have been an issue, but in my dealings in San Diego was a very humbling experience. Having tried so hard to learn the choreo for that one small piece and then failing to make the cut was the first attack of my confidence. Then while in San Diego, my one redeeming action would have been to really kill the cyphers, but I just wasn't feeling it, and that really killed my confidence. I kind of feel like I've been broken down to my earlier days of breaking when I had no confidence.

This I see as partially a blessing and also a great set back. Maybe this is a good thing in that it will force me to work on some things that I have been ignoring for a while in foundation, such as improving my footwork. And taking more time to learn new stuff. It is a great set back in that I don't feel the same on the floor anymore. Before I felt like I could really hold down the beat, and I never questioned my movements, they just came naturally, but now, I'm thinking so much that I feel really out of place.

This whole situation really makes me think about the role of confidence in dance. As with most things, it is a double edged sword. On one side of the spectrum, without confidence, you will never appear comfortable on the dance floor, you won't be in a groove, and people can tell by the lack of commitment in your movements. But on the other side, too much confidence and you become cocky, your style stops progressing, and you get a serious attitude problem.

How do you walk the fine line between the two? I know several dancers that do it quite well. Staying humble about your style is vital to being a good dancer. It is ok to know that you are a good dancer, but you should never fool yourself into thinking you're all that and a bag of chips. You will always have an off day, there will always be someone who can beat you, and there will always be a song that you just can't dance to. Hopefully all these don't happen to you at once. I think the next thing to keep in mind is to keep an open mind. From listening to house(the guy) a lot lately, I have learned a lot.

If you look at dance, every area has its own style. Every area has its own hero bboys/hero crews/whatever. I think one of the biggest trap to fall into is to judge an entire area of dance. Take for instance east coast vs. west coast. I can't really say what goes on in the west coast, cause I don't live there. But here in the east coast, everyone pride's themselves on having the best foundation/style. I let myself get caught up in that hype. I went to cali expecting everyone to be throwing all sorts of power and have no style at all. In a way I was kind of hating or looking down on them. I don't know why, maybe to feel better about my lack of being awesome. To make myself feel big. That is so counter productive, and I think that's one of the biggest reasons I was so let down. It was my own fault. Cali bboys weren't all about power, they had some awesome style. Are some bboys just power? Sure, but the same can be said anywhere. I'm going to stop listening to all that hype from people. Bboys are bboys wherever you go. There will always be some stylistic differences, but can you say bboys from place x are better than y? No...

I guess I'm just going to be extra humble for a while. I need to go underground again and work hard on my foundation and really structure the way I practice. I need to get comfortable with myself again and learn to just get back to the music. I'm going to try not to look at this as a bad thing, but a way to progress my style. You have to fall down before you can get up. Now that I'm a broken bboy, its time to rebuild, We can rebuild him. We have the technology. "We can make him better than he was. Better...stronger...faster."

Halfstep the humble

CAB Crew!

So now halfstep is part of a crew. Tuesday after college park practice Russ gave me a call. He told me that cab crew had a meeting earlier and wanted to invite me to be a part of the crew. I had been waiting for CAB to ask me to be down with them for a while now. So now its time to rep cab hard and show some mofo's what's up!

Halfstep

San Diego an CSDC

So all month I've been busting my ass to work on choreo for San Diego. Well I been busting my ass for quite some time now...but that's besides the point. There were 2 pieces in paticular that I thought I had a decent chance on. I really wanted to be able to perform with CSCD(cultureshock DC) in san diego for the showcase. I didn't make the cut however. It hurt a lot to have worked so hard and not gotten what I was working for. I was really frustrated and angry at myself. Its easy to think of the unfairness of it all, but that's not really what its about.

For me dance has never came easy as it does for a lot of people. Especially choreography. But my life isn't about only doing those things that I'm good at. Life is a struggle. My dad always used to say if something's worth having its worth fighting for. Just because you fall down, you don't give up. You get up, and you try again. Its not like I wasted all that time training. Everyone on the team has said they've noticed a big improvement in me. Even I have noticed over the past few months, things get a little easier. But I'm still not clean. I don't have the control yet. Because my dance style is BIG, its hard for me to do a lot of small quick things cleanly. But that is my challenge. That is the area of dance that I need to focus on. I'm glad to have gotten the feedback from csdc.

I know it hurt, and it sucks for me to be the only person on the team going to san diego and not performing, but I welcome it. Whatever doesn't kill me can only make me stronger. Kate has a good saying that there is no comfort in progress and there is no progress in comfort. I know it would be easy for me to have just not gone. But I want to be part of the team. Even if it hurts, I will go and support my team, otherwise am I really part of the team? You have to give to get. In the beginning when I first joined culture shock, I didn't really understand that. I was always so frustrated and always felt so far behind, and felt that no one accepted me. But was I leaving myself open and trying? Maybe not hard enought.

I've always been pretty shy, but thats not the problem. Even if I'm not the best dancer or best leader, there are ways that I can contribute to the team. I've realized that as of late and decided to be more proactive on the team. Specifically in my nerdiness. I'm going to try to help organize the team more on the tech side and help with their website. Eventually I will get the choreography part. Eventually I will perform with my team. These things I know, because halfstep doesn't quit....

The new J O B

So now you are reading the blog of an official Booz Allen Hamilton! Haha. I started last week and so far am loving it. The team I joined is called the IT Innovation team. I get to do all sorts of nerdy stuff, which is awesome for me. Here thinking outside of the box is encouraged. I'm on a pretty big team of all tech geeks who love programming. I realized how much I loved it when going to lunch with some colleagues and having a serious geek discussion daily. How cool is that?! The drive to McLean kind of sucks, but whatever, maybe I'll start taking the metro, we'll see.

So right now its pretty chill at work, but I'm guessing soon I'll be working on some crazy stuff. The cool thing about this job, is almost no overtime. They were telling me once that sometimes in crunches where we have to work overtime. And they were complaining like 45-50 hours for a few weeks haha. I kept quiet about that, but thats a cakewalk. I like the culture here so far too.

Hooray for booz!

Halfstep

NYC Dude!

Haha Ya I know I'm writing this like a week late but whatever! Better late than never. So last week I went to NYC on my pseudo-week off between jobs where I still got paid. :D

I had a pretty good time. I stayed with suju and got to see some old friends from college. In case you didn't go to college with me, the title is an inside joke. There used to be this scrawny ass indian kid in my college who was absolutely obsessed with NYC, he thought it was the greatest place in the world. He was one of those from a pretty well to do family in bombay, kind of fake indian. He always talked about raves and dropping acid, though I doubt he'd touched a drug in his life. He walked around campus wearing slippers with cartoon characters on them, pants that were neither shorts nor pants, but somewhere inbetween. He was also very opinionated, which was why most people didn't really like him. One last interesting tidbit about K before I stop this tangent. He drank a 40 that was half piss once, and said to the host of the party "Hey Dood, this beer tastes kinda flat. hahaha.

Ok now that I've lost any direction in this post lets talk about NYC. Its still dirty and full of people. But at least my friends are there. I started waiting for sujan to come meet me in chinatown to pick me up from the bus stop. We had planned to go eat momo(nepali dumplings) with some of his friends. We were supposed to meet his friends somewhere, and knowing Sujan, things got mixed up and we were tracking all around nyc subway. One annoying thing about the trains in NYC, there is no cell phone reception, so once you enter the station, you have no ties to the outside world, making it near impossible to meet up with someone.

Well we finally made it, and I hadn't ate the whole day so I was STARVED. I ate like 100 momos(not really, but you get the picture) and was completely stuffed. Then Sujan and I left and we were going to one of his uncles houses because it was some Nepali religious holliday. Sujan failed to inform me there would be another meal....
So we arrived at his uncles place and then I met everyone. Then they decided to do the nepali ceremony and gave everyone some fruit and red dot. I got one too, so I am officially a dot head :D. Then his uncle spoke the fatal words, "It's time for dinner". My jaw dropped. I couldn't be rude and refuse, but I also couldn't eat anymore. I need to hollow out my leg in case something like this happens in the future. But I ended up eating again, it was really good food, but at a certain point nothing tastes good. I was very appreciative for their hospitality though. Sujan proceeded to get drunk off beer and whiskey, and Sujan drunk isn't a pretty site. He started getting really chatty in Nepali, he was talking to his uncles and cousins, and I could tell he was saying the same kinds of things he says in english when he's drunk. So classic hah, I miss suju!

Anyway the next few days were filled mostly with chilling. I got to meet Xiu mei after not seeing her since 04 when I graduated, watching her obsess about some korean boy band, even buying a dvd set that she can't even play because she doesn't have the right player....girls.....

I also got to meet up with Jin who cooked me awesome meat filled dinner. I also got to see the newest chinese movie, that probably wont be in the US for another 2 years haha.

It was a pretty uneventful week, but I needed some relaxing time. I hardly danced at all, which was probably good for my muscles, but its been hard getting back into the gear of things this week.

Long day

So today was the day of my first paid dance gig. $100, not so bad for 2 hours of dancing. Well it was out in BFE MD, haha so it took a while to get there. It was alright, I wasn't really feeling the crown much though. We were trying to get them hyped up...but they weren't having it. Then we tried to get the crowd to dance, and a few booty shakers came up, but not much else. I was whack on the floor though. I'm so tired and physically exhausted from practicing my ass off this week. I did like 3 straight nights of power, so my arms are dead. One of my sets I tried an elbow slide....then after the slide...DONK! Landed right on my poor head. Then the next set.....elbow spins.....DONK, straight on my head. Thank god I have a hard german head. On the way back from the gig it started pouring like crazy. But we made it. Thanks out to Russ and CAB crew for inviting me to perform with them.

Then the next event was Modern, the first thursday night!!! All the bboys were out and it was a blast. For some reason at modern, my muscles healed, and I was able to dance pretty well. Its something about that place, the energy is so awesome and positive. I'm a little dissapointed though. I was trying to celebrate my new job and have a little go away thing with my ex-coworkers, and trying to get culture shock to come out and party with me. Sent out an evite to everyone, and like 2 people showed up :(

Still a lot more things going on this weekend. Tomorrow got culture shock rehearsal, and I was supposed to battle goofball at the all nighter...but my leg is really messed up, so I need to rest for a day or so. Saturday night I'm doing a showcase with goofball in clarendon ballroom, that should be interesting. Then Sunday is the crafty bastards jam where I will be battling 2v2's with Decepticon. Should be really fun. And Crazy legs from rocksteady will be there. I'm really excited. I gotta rest my muscles so I don't screw up lol. Hopefully I will rock it better than ever!!!

Weird myspace friend request

Ok I'm officially grossed out. This morning when I checked my mail I had a friend request. From a dude in Germany. The name of his profile: "Gaymen seeking amputees." WTF?!

1) My profile says clearly I'm straight.
2) Why the heck are gaymen seeking amputees, its not really something I want to picture, thank God I'm not a visual person. (Sorry to those of you who are)
3) This is the 2nd time I've denied this guys friend request. GIVE UP!
4) GROSS
5) GROSS
6) If you are looking for freaky ass things, please don't friend request me.
7) I researched this phenomenon: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amelotasis, its pretty weird, and the wikipedia article made me laugh. Especially this line: "There is a common difference between Amputee Devotees and Amputee Wanabees." Amputee wannabees hahah. I guess it takes all kinds to make the world go round....just keep it in your own house....not mine.

Welcome back Modern!

My favorite night spot! I've missed you like crazy! And now you're open. Last night was opening night of Modern, the best club in DC by far! The coolest staff, the coolest look, the chillest atmosphere, the club is like family! Anyway it took a while to get in the night was crazy, I felt really bad for the bouncers working the door because everyone and their mama were trying to work special favors and they were doing everything they could to make everyone happy. It had to be the hardest job. Thanks guys! And thanks to Dan for giving me and Jef the hookup!

The new modern looks incredible. They did an awesome job remodeling. The new couches look hot, and the new floor is awesome. I really can't wait for Thursday so I can get a proper chance to bboy on that sweet ass floor. It still looks modern inside which is really cool. They got rid of that nasty swinging chair. I can't wait to get a look at the place when it is not 100% capacity.

The whole staff is the same as before. That's a really incredible thing, because with 2-3 months of being closed you'd think everyone would need to find a new spot. But modern is family, and I was so happy to see all those same faces again...Welcome back guys!!! I missed you!

I had a really good time dancing with Rus, Jef, and Nadi. I think I'm gonna go back again tonight. Funny story time. So I went with Jef from Cultureshock DC, and after the club I was supposed to take him to the chinatown bus stop after the party...well we were "going" to leave before the club closed, but you know how modern does. A circle started and neither of us could resist. After that we had to say our goodbyes, time consuming... and then some random girl started talking to me....more time. So by the time we actually got to leave we had to really freaking hurry. I parked my car at GW because we had dropped Joni off there and figured it would be impossible to find parking in georgetown. So we started the brisk ass walk to get my car. We drove really fast, and as fate would have it hit every *$#%! red light in DC. We made it by 3:30 (the planned bus leave time) on my car clock. When we were pulling the corner we saw a bus driving, I said sarcastically, that's probably your bus. Well it was and it had left on the DOT, which is odd for that bus. So we had to come crash at my place till the next bus at 8am. Sorry to Jef! I hope your girl doesn't kill you when you get to NYC.

Anyway Modern is back, everyone come out this Thursday, I have more to celebrate than just Modern, so I'm trying to bring out a ton of people! More details to come out on that though during the week.

Have a great weekend

Halfstep

Dance reflections

So Joseph gave a speech Friday that really hit home. Not that I ever give less than 100% when I dance, his speech inspired me and gave me some things to work on. He said everyone on the team has things to work on. Its not good enough to go through a piece and do things your own way....even though I can't even get the piece to begin with. The lesson however is to think of those things you don't get, and those things that you are not able to do and decide to make those your goals. So I'm going to compile a list of things I need to work on.

1) Learn how to not be so left handed. Especially since 90% of people are choreographing with their right hand in mind. This screws me up, especially on spins and when I'm watching someone in the mirror. I need to practice more on my right side. I noticed this more in bboying. I need to learn how to start on my right side to become more versatile.

2) Seperate thought from dance. This is hard because I'm having a tough time learning the pieces. But today I was doing Josh's peice, which is awesome. And trying not to think at all...just putting my bboy face on (its not a bboy piece...i just have a determined bboy face :P ) and did it. I didn't do it 100% correct, but I think I looked a lot better than usual. I only got this because I practice that piece a lot outside of class. I need to remember every day to practice the pieces I know, even if I don't know all of it. I can always bring questions to class....but if we learn a piece and I don't really practice it and we don't do it for a few weeks, I have to relearn it.

3) One of my biggest goals I need to practice on is level change. As a tall mofo, its tough for me to get down low. I need to. Joseph was saying that even in the club people don't notice our great dancing skills from what our hands are doing so much, its more what our feet are doing and all the level changes. I need to learn to focus on this more.

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I wish there were more hours in the day. Or that I could just quit my job and dance all day, but alas not possible....maybe if I ever get famous dancing :P
But anyway some good things did happen this weekend. I had a lot of inspiration to make up sets. Fridays practice I made up 2 new sets, partially thanks to Ryan. My I have less than 2 weeks before I battle goofball for the 3rd time, and I want to have a few things to throw down. Those sets will help a lot. I'm going to try tomorrow night not to focus so much on power and think more of sets and how I can perfect the new ones I created and maybe add to some of my old stuff.

Also been learning locking at culture shock practice. I look like a total goon....but I'm a slow learner.....within a few months I'll get a lot better. Its helping me think a lot about using my right side. Same as in some of the new toprocks I'm learning from Ryan. Other than culture shock its been a pretty chill weekend, but it was really good.

A week from Thursday will be the first Lion's Den at modern in over 2 months, I'm so excited. I'm gonna smoke all those dude who I haven't seen in a while haha. But I miss modern a lot!

Ok peace

Strange Dreams

So I'm not really a dreamer at all. Well I don't remember them at least, or if I do, its for like 5 minutes. But for some reason one has stuck with me so I guess I will share.

It all started when I was in a movie theatre with a lost love. It was really strange to dream about this person because I haven't seen her in a few years, but she looked exactly the same as I remember her. All of the sudden someone in the row ahead of us starts smoking a ciggarette, and then everyone starts making a really big deal, and apologetically the woman put out her cigarette. Then there were these hippy people in the back that wouldn't shut up about it, and for some reason they started playing really loud hippy music. Everyone in the theatre got really pissed off....including me, and a mob of angry movie goers evolved.

At that point the management of the theatre stepped in and stopped the hippies from playing there music and everyone went back to the movie. At that point my friend started goofing off and climbing under the seats to calm me down. After the movie, we went to my uncle's place back in Galesburg where I guess I was living. When we got to the door my friend saw a weird bug and screemed. We went in and I started cooking some food on the grill.

Next we went into the room I guess I was staying at, and when we went in there was some water dripping from the ceiling. Then all of the sudden from the light socket water started pouring down all over the room. It was really strange and one of my uncles came down from upstairs and I guess he was "fixing something." At that point I woke up.

That's probably the most detailed dream I can remember. Its really weird, and I just thought I'd share. I can still see a lot of the images clearly in my mind, so strange.....

First Victory

Ok, I still don't believe it, but I won a battle. Don't get really excited, it wasn't a real bboy battle, but I'm $500 richer so I won't complain :D

My friend Joseph from culture shock was invited to bring some culture shock ppl to dance for the opening of this battle at club love. Since I don't know the choreo for any of the medley, I wasn't originally going to go, but eh, being VIP and dressing however I want is the only way I will ever go to love, so I went. I wasn't even going to enter the battle because club battles are usually whack. But I was pushed in and did my thing and made it into the battle. The battle was kind of shady, it seemed they picked people at random to move on in the next round. I battled one of the lab rats who could smoke me (at least now ;)). During the battle my leg fell off and I moved on; somehow I think that's behind it. Then later on I had saved some of my power and took out some ppl with my scissor kicks combo which I guess is a real crowd pleaser. I still don't believe I won.

Which kind of makes me think, out of the other bboys that battled I think most could take me. Which kind of makes me feel like having my leg fall off was the reason I won. I have a lot of mixed feelings about that. I don't really want any special treatment. But I guess having one leg does make me special. I have to train twice as hard as most people to find new ways of doing things. I think this is something I will struggle with a lot, so I'll have to learn to accept it. I'm not going to hide my leg, it is one of my assets. I'm proud of it. This is my way to inspire, even if I don't win, I'm still doing my thing and having a blast.

I feel bad for the people who I battled who should have beat me. But I guess this is the way club battles work. When I "am" good and deserve to win, and someone else beats me, I will just have to remember times like these. Everything balances out in the end. I just want to thank joseph and those who pushed me in the circle for giving me this opportunity and thank god for the talent and opportunity to win.

Peace out yall

P.S.
oh ya.....YAYAAHAYAYAYAYAY I WON I WON I WON
BYAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Halfstep

Chekitouchou ( check it out yo)

Ok random name post!! Had some pretty good discoveries tonight from others having discoveries....if that makes sense. I had a really good talk with a close friend about culture shock tonight and goals in general. Sometimes we make excuses for ourselves and say "I'm not good enough" for things and just give up, or since we have that notion predefined in our head we don't try our hardest. I've seen that in myself even. Early in my culture shock days it was just something to help me with dance. It was never try hard to make the team, or become an awesome choreographer. But as with all things you're only going to get out what you put in. And because I wasn't putting in everything I had, I wasn't getting much back.

For me, the biggest turning point in my views on culture shock are all thanks to Kate. When she left for AZ, she gave me a gift. Something so simple, but it meant so much to me. It was just a bandana she wore to her last performance with cultureshock DC. It was given with the stipulation that I wear this at my first performance. Kind of a passing of the torch. And with Kate being such an awesome dancer, these are like size 500 shoes I've now to fill. For me that act was like a promise. It was like, "Ok, now I'm going to do this." Those words are so simple, life can be so simple, but we always make things difficult with our questioning and our excuses. I'm going to perform with culture shock, I'm going to make core team, and I want to do it within the next year. I want to learn how to choreograph and how to mimic other peoples movements. I can no longer say, "I'm too left handed to get this right" or "if only I had 2 ankles." Do I ever make those excuses in bboying? No its my own style, but even then I find my own ways to overcome my own problems, and so it shall be with choreography and culture shock. Can I simply say I'm too shy to ask for help, or think that everyone thinks I suck? How can I blame anyone else or make any excuse for my lack of skill? We are in control of our own lives, our own skill. We just need to decide, put forth our heart, soul, sweat, blood, whatever it takes to get what you want. But the biggest thing is to know what you want and take it.

My father is a really simple man, but there is so much wisdom in it. He doesn't get caught up with all the bullshit, if he wants to do something he does it. When I was a kid, he always told me "Can't won't", and the most disappointed I've ever seen him is when I've said I can't do something. Its true, we are only limited by the limitations we set for ourselves. Many people have told me that my dance is an inspiration to them. Its just as much a struggle for me. The only reason I have any skill at all is that I've made a decision in my life. I decided to be a bboy, I wanted to be the best bboy, I decided I need to practice harder than anyone to become what I want. Every day I work, I eat, I practice, I sleep. I've made sacrifices for bboying, but that's my dream, that is my goal.

I guess these are just my inner thoughts, but what to take from this? Find inside your goals and just do them. Don't make excuses, don't let anyone tell you "you can't", and never say that yourself. Never "do nothing" because life is too precious to waste. And if you are on culture shock and reading this, please criticize my choreo and if you see me struggling, lend a hand. If you see me slacking off call me out.

And thanks to all those who've contributed to my views and made me a stronger person.

Godbless
Halfstep

shopping spree

So if you know me at all, you know that I absolutely abhore shopping. Especially when it's shopping for clothes. But, clothes do wear out, and instead of looking like a bum, I gotta do what I gotta do. This week was tax free week in MD, so I decided to go out and take advantage of all the sales; destroying a saturday in the process. I went to 2 different malls, and several other stores and spent a small fortune. Here is my shopping list:
4 Pairs of dress pants
1 pair of jeans
5 tshirts
6 pairs of socks
3 Computer books
2 pairs of skate/break shoes
ankle weights
elbow pad
knee pad
a belt

It wasn't exactly the shopping list I had in mind, but its what I found lol. I still need to get a lamp though, mine broke the other day. I've found there are some stores I never care to shop at, like nordstroms. Every pair of jeans I saw was at least 100 dollars, ya right! If you wanna pay 2-3 times the normal price be my guest and buy all the designer bs, in my opinion its made a lot cheaper than the "cheap" brands. Maybe you can impress more girls that way, i dunno, but you can keep those type of women any way, they would never chase after me haha.

I've also discovered Maryland drivers can't drive or park. I can't count the number of times I had to skip a parking place because some idiot parked crooked. Im not even talking paralell parking, just normal parking, of compact cars. I'm glad I didn't pay any taxes on the things I bought, I wouldn't want to support your shoddy driver training programs.

I also was thinking today about how close skaters and bboys really are as a culture. When in the skate shop I noticed, because the skaters who worked there really reminded me of bboys I knew. Both arts are looked down upon by a lot of the older generation, and misunderstood by the current generations. Most people just wanna see stupid tricks. But skaters and bboys alike are really dedicated to their art, spend ungodly amounts of time polishing their styles. We both have contests and underground cultures. Skate videos and bboy videos are similar. I think there are a lot more similarities too. But I'm tired, and going to dream about bboying anyway, so PEACE out!

Halfstep

Chickenstep

Ayo! Last night was pretty fun, I went to thursday's choreo class and I knew a lot of the choreo already so it wasn't hard to keep up....but I still look like a complete fool, but I got to goof off and have a lot of fun. Hopefully that awkwardness will wear off with time. I wish I could more immitate other people's dance style...or at least look smooth. I'm such a bboy, all my dance is so tough :(

Afterwards I met up with Exit and Seth at Saki for a little wednesday night cyphering. It was pretty fun, we had a little audience, and this cute girl kept smiling at me. I battled exit (not a serious one) and held my own really well. He needs to start practicing or I'm going to start smoking him haha. Someone asked us if they could take a short video. Usually if someone puts me on the spot like that I will screw up...but last night I guess I wasn't thinking about it and just having fun. I hit my footwork to 90 and jumped into my elbow freeze. The crowd that night wasn't really cheering or anything that night, but that got some O's!.

Back to the girl, why am I such a chicken!!! She told me she liked my dance and that I should go dance more on the floor. Before I left I went and introduced myself and said goodbye. I should have asked for her number or something or even just talked to her for a while, but I'm such a chicken!! Haha, being shy has its setbacks. If you're out there cute asian girl find me!!! haha.

Peace
Halfstep

House in the Halfstep!

So for the past 3 years, my whole dance style has been bboying. For the past year or 2, I have eaten, slept, dreamed of bboying. My style has progressed a lot. I'm not considered sick or anything. I have some style, I can rock the beat, got some footwork and a lil power. But what do I have to distinguish myself....aside from being 1 legged I guess haha. I've decided I need to learn other dance styles. Joining culture shock last year was a good start. Learning how to do choreography is probably going to be one of my biggest challenges as a dancer, but in the end hard work always pays off no?

Long story short, I've decided that I'm going to learn how to house dance. I'm extremely blessed to have some people from the DC scene offer to show me a thang or two. House(the person) is an incredible dancer, and he offered to show me his trade. Its only been a week, and I still feel like a complete whitey on the floor, but I'm starting to understand more about the music and the dance. House(the music) is all about freeing yourself, letting the music take over, its more smooth than breaking, and its very difficult for me to grasp. Well I was dancing the other night and a black guy walked up to me and said you must have some n***** in your blood the way you dance. I was caught kind of off guard haha. But I thought it was a really funny statement. I'll have to let my dad know that perhaps he's not my dad lol.

I think this weekend I've probably clocked about 20 hours dancing haha, my legs are dead, I think my real foot is about to come off. But the pain will make my legs faster, and make me a better dancer. Tonight I went to another house(music) party. I've never joined a house circle because I really have no idea what I'm doing, but someone pushed me into it tonight, and I just went with it. It felt kind of awkward at first, but then something happened, I got caught in the moment and then everyone started cheering and clapping. At that moment I completely lost it, I just let the music take over. I ended up pulling out some bboy stuff (standing on my head) and I was kicking my legs in a house beat somehow hitting the beat. Everyone went wild! It was really cool. I think its just beginners luck.

I think that taught me a really big lesson about house dancing, and probably house in general. When you are nervous, and really worried what people are thinking, it stops you. It takes up part of you, your mind starts working too hard, and your body can't express the music properly. Once you let go of everything, and just feel the music, and let your body do what it wants with no concern of who's watching or who thinks you're whack, it moves correctly. Its good to learn different dance styles and different dance patterns/steps, but the most important for you is to truely feel the dance. It is then and only then when you'll come up with some truly unique stuff that is yours alone.

A lot of this reminds me of something Kate told me once. Each time you learn a new style, it makes all of your other styles better by proxy. I'm a bboy. I'll always be a bboy, thats my chosen style. But the more I learn about house, popping, locking, salsa, whatever style, I can take the lessons I've learned from those and apply it to my bboying. That is where a bboy gets his truly unique flavor, when he can progress bboying style and bboy art. So I guess I'll be learning for a damn long time, because there are lots of styles out there to learn. And I'm betting the more styles I learn, the better dancer I'll become and the more quickly I can pick up new styles. And I hope there are as nice of people out there in each of these new styles as I have met through my experiences with bboying, housing, and hiphop/choreo. We
re all artists, and we've got to keep our art alive by sharing it with others.

Peace
Halfstep

The power of dance

So today I was having a really bad day. Just when I was really starting to like work and where I was going, today we found the results of the anual process. I wasn't totally expecting to get promoted this year. I have a lot of tough competition at my level, but still I think I deserve some recognition for the accomplishments I've made. Sometimes I think because I'm not a star developer "yet", I don't get the recognition I deserve. Somehow I got rated an average rating. This means I am in the 50th percentile of people at my level. That is complete garbage, I think I'm in at least the top quarter. I'm not a "star" developer, but my skills as a Config manager and websphere expert have provided the company with a lot of value. I can't count the number of times I've went outside my normal responsibilities to assist other projects with their config/webshpere issues and bailed them out.

My coach/manager, who is also my good friend was trying to make it all sound better and put things into perspective about how to try harder for next year, but I wasn't hearing it. I don't think I'll stick with Accenture is this is how they are going to treat me. I can make a lot more money elsewhere. He told me some of it had to do with my stance on not working crazy hours anymore. I don't think its fair to rate people higher because they are willing to sacrifice their social lives for the company. When you are so burned out from being overworked, you may seem to be working harder, but your productivity is stifled. Accenture needs to realize this. They lose a lot of their most talented people because they don't treat us right. They'd rather promote some ass kissers, or less talented people just because they are willing to work 60+ hours a week.

I was so angry when I first heard this morning. I couldn't focus on my work so much. All I could think about was that I wanted to dance, or at least play some guitar to get rid of the anger. Then just sitting there I started to feel depressed, especially hearing of other people getting promoted. I'm going to be even more angry when they publish the lists of those who were promoted and I see people who don't have half my skill on there. Not to be cocky, there are quite a few people at my level who could beat me hands down, but I'm just being realistic. I may not work crazy hours, but I do work hard, and I do things outside my expected work to add value to the company. Will I continue to do so? I'm seriously having second thoughts. Why should I bust my ass for accenture if they aren't going to take care of me.

Needless to say I kept getting more angry, and when I finally calmed down I started feeling depressed and sorry for myself, which sucked. I came home and just did nothing for an hour or so and was even going to skip practice. I didn't feel like doing anything. I'm really glad I made myself get out and hit the gym though. I've said it before and I'll say it again, dance is my medicine. Once I heard the beats, my feet were moving, my adrenaline started pumping and my mind forgot about all that was bothering me.

I'm reminded of something little jon taught me. The bboy not the rapper... Dance is something spritual. Some people go to church to feel close to God, or they pray, or they do whatever it is people do. For me, when I dance, that is my prayer. When my body and mind gain one focus, and I become one with the music, I feel at peace. Tonight I really felt in that zone. I wasn't thinking, I didn't have to see what I was doing, I didn't have to pay attention to the music. I just got lost in the moment. My feet followed the beat in ways I never though of before, my dance became so abstract and I was hitting all the beats, almost like russ, it was amazing. I felt like I really grew as a dancer in the short hour I practiced. I hope I can practice like that more often, even though I can't use all that in breaking, the amount of style that came out of nowhere, I can pull so much from it and become a better dancer.

I'm so glad God showed me dance. To turn such negative feelings around is pretty amazing. I wish everyone was so lucky to find something they love so much. And although I'm still angry about the way my company is treating me, I can't let it get to me. I'll find a new company, Accenture is the one who is missing out, not me. Maybe its God's way of telling me to move on to better things. I will stick around long enough to see how good my raise is, then I'm going to start sending out my resume again.

Music is so powerful. Thanks to bboy soji for making an awesome mix tape with so much beautiful break music. Thanks to all the bboys and bgirls who have shared their style with me. Thanks to the doctors/professionals who put me back together and make my legs so I can dance. Thanks to all my friends who've supported me during all my good times and bad times. Ok I guess I'm in a weird mood. Time to go to sleep.

Peace
Halfstep

Contagious Inspiration

So tonight I was practicing at GW with Joni and she left early, but I wasn't tired so I kept on going. I really like practicing alone sometimes. I get a lot of ideas then, and I never feel embarrassed to try new things, or don't worry if my dance looks stupid. I think its at these times I make the most progress. But even when you think you are alone and no one is watching, there are these things called security cameras. One of the security guards came by after a half hour. I'm not usually so warmly accepted by security guards, from my time as a skater and even as a bboy, I'm oft chased away. But this security guard started some small talk and was asking about my dancing. He then thanked me and said he saw me on the security camera and he was having a pretty bad day. He said he noticed my leg and decided that his problems weren't so bad afterall and could be a lot worse. I felt kind of embarrassed, but I was glad to provide someone some inspiration when "no one was looking."

I felt kind of inspired by that statement though. If you think about it, most people live in a pretty self centered world. We all have problems, and somehow in our own minds our personal problems are so huge. Well to us they are, but if you take the advice of the security guard, there's always someone worse off than you. All of us have some kind of blessings in our life. If we focus only on our own faults, our lives will suck. I think its better to focus on your blessings and be happy and thankful. No one will ever have everything, and even if you had everything, would you be happy? I'm sure you'd still find something missing, it seems that is human nature. But if we can overcome that, we can be happy although we have little, and share that happiness with others instead of idly perusing our own interests.

So, the original inspiration giver becomes the receiver. Thus, inspiration is contagious.

It reminds me of a friends post, someone who's in a small country in a small town with little amneties we're all so used to. The small things that make her day would often be scoffed at by someone as spoiled as most of us here in the US are. We can all learn some lessons if we just pause our lives and look at the world around us. Ok, I'm babbling, peace out world, good night, keep chasing your dreams, spread inspiration, thank god for all you have, and watch out for 1 legged bboys.

Halfstep

Some friends come, some friends go, but they're always friends.

Well it has been a really busy couple of weeks! Been trying to dance a lot, but getting sick last weekend has killed it! I haven't danced since last Friday and am reaaaally feeling it. I'm going to practice tonight if it kills me. So what been going on in the world of halfstep? One of my closest friends in DC is moving away. My first friend in DC actually. So I've been to like 3 or 4 parties for her already, dang that's crazy for one person to have like 8 going away parties...just leave already! Just kidding haha. But anyway, I learned a lot from this person, and she's one of my dancing role models. I wish her the best of luck in AZ, and I'm going to go battle her next year!!! Because as you all know next year will be the start of me becoming a sick bboy. :D Anyway, this person is the one who got me to try out for Culture Shock DC. Its been a really rough 6-8 months, and my choreography skills still really suck, but I'm making progress. And as stubborn as I am, I'm just going to keep trying. She gave me a really symbolic gift the other night that meant a lot to me. Its a bandana from the last culture shock performance starring her, and it was given with the promise that I wear it to my first performance, which will be soon I hope. I'm going to hang it in my room for inspiration and a reminder to never stop reaching for the impossible.

In other news... Some chums (no not chumps :@) from college are coming to visit me. These people don't really know the bboy halfstep that has evolved since Japan and DC so well. They are really excited to see me dance and I hope I can live up to the expectations lol. It will be really good to see Sujan again, I've got to visit him more in NYC. We are going to eat Momo!!! It will be good times. I even heard from Yash, my lazy Indian college roomy haha. He tried to get me to move to Richmond VA for a job. NOO WAY! I like DC for now. I also got to learn the whereabouts of a friend who's been lost to me for a while, and I'm really happy about that.

It makes you think about life. So many people come in and out of your life, some for mere seconds, some for years. Everyone has something to add to your life if you know where to look. Some people make you angry, some people hurt you, some are hurt by you, some bring you joy, teach you how to robot dance...ect...ect, but everyone has something to add. I'm a really REALLY shy person, and I feel so blessed to have been touched by so many people. I have a lot of good people in my life, have left behind a lot of great people in my life, and look forward to meeting many more wonderful people in my life. I only hope that I can add as much to these people's lives as they have to me.

Updates in life

So whats going on in Harley's life? Who knows lol. Some recent updates. I've been training pretty hard the past few weeks. There's this battle this Saturday I want to do well in. Its really strange though, I almost don't want to battle. I'm at this point in my practice I don't want to lose. I'm having so much inspiration lately. Usually its really hard for me to try new things as a dancer, but recently I've been getting so many ideas. Not that they look good yet, but I'm trying something different, and I think soon I will have some new moves perfected. I'm really excited about this feeling at practice. I'm almost scared to go to clubs now. I'm half convinced that practicing alone everyday for 2 weeks has helped my body chill out and stop worrying that other people are watching me. And I think thats really helping me to slow down, think about what I'm doing and try something different. I really hope I can bust out some new stuff this weekend. Hopefully I'll be battling with Ryan from Culture Shock, he's a really dope bboy. Hopefully I will get far! Either way it will be a blast, Russ(IRONMAN!) will be spinning on the 1's and 2's, so the music will be sick for sure. And seeing Asian Idol will be really funny.

What about the professional life? I feel like I'm starting to come to terms with my project which shall remain nameless because last time something with my name on it mentioned govgrnds it ended up on google and I got chewed out lol. Anyway, I'm understanding what I'm doing and not having to bother people as much to help me finish my work. Which means I'm learning. And it seems more and more people are coming to me with their problems, which shows at least someone thinks I have some coding skills haha. Also something really weird happened today. I've always been really outspoken, not really care who I offend at work. Not that I'm not anymore, but I think I'm learning how to control my offwall comments and use them at the best times. There was a lunch meeting with our site lead and it went really well. I was one of the more senior people there and I think I made a pretty good impression. I kept my foot out of my mouth, got to make some assinine comments, get my points across and the site lead still laughed, instead of looking at me like "who the fuck is this kid?" Strange things are afoot at the circle K.

Love life? Again strange things are afoot at the circle k. haha. I feel like I'm at this great point in my life. I've finally come to terms with being single and being happy about it. I'm enjoying my idependence and freedom to the fullest. For some reason it seems when I get to this peak, girls come along to bring me down haha. Life is so weird, I've gone for over a year with no women in my life at all (besides friends), barely any flurting to what seems recently like there are more than 1 girls after me. I don't really know how to act. I don't want to be an asshole, but I don't want to miss any opportunities(not the dirty kind if thats what you're thinking), I don't really know what to do. I guess all I can do is be honest; hopefully that is enough.

I'm really excited about the future. I think my dance is coming along really well, I'm getting more close friends in DC, getting called to dance a lot more, more opportunities. I'm just thankful everything is working out so well right now and pray everything keeps on the up and up. I hope modern opens up soon and I can't wait to see everyone there again. I want to plan a trip within the next few months, hopefully to NY or somewhere else exciting. Peace everyone! (even though no one reads lol)

Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...

So funny haha

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind...”

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

Why doesn't Verizon have any good phones?

I've been a Verizon customer since I've ever had a cell phone. Their service is astounding, I get service almost everywhere, but there is one huge problem: They have the most ugly phones on the planet. In the early days of cell phone technology, it was ok for the cell phone to look ugly. But as competition has increased and market entry prices dropped, any cell phone can more or less get the job done. So the way to get more market share you think would be to make people think that your phone is cool. Making it the size of a laptop and making it have computing functions is not exactly the way to take the market. Is it just all cell phones in America are ugly?

I remember my days back in Tokyo, my cell phone was beautiful. And it only cost 20 bucks! Here I payed 80 for something that wasn't even comparable. Why are we so behind in cell phone design? We have the asian companies producing our phones: LG, Samsung, ect. Why are they holding out on us? And the decent looking cell phones out there, why is Verizon not selling them? I swear they take the catalogs and pick the most god awful looking phones to offer to their subscribers. Please Verizon if you see this, get some beautiful phones. I'm glad you finally decided to add the Razor to your repertoire, but that's not enough. Please hire someone with design credentials to pick out the cell phones you offer instead of someone who has no idea what they are doing.

Thanks

Back to the Future

So coming back to Knox for graduation. As time goes on its a strange thing. Seeing old friends has been great. Surprising people who thought they wouldn't see me anymore, catching up. But somehow I feel different inside. I feel like I'm experiencing an old life, going back to another time in my life. In these past two years since college I have grown and changed so much. I've found my dream, discovered the reward of fervently chasing it, found more about myself and who I am. So now when I am faced with familiar faces, familiar places, I can't help to feel different.

I had a really great time seeing Yuko and her family again. I think so far that has been the highlight of the trip. We had homemade sushi from Reiko, it was really good. And I got some Ghana Choco straight from Japan. Her family is really nice, and although I scrapped my Japan trip for the summer, it really makes me wish I could afford the money and time to go back.

But other people I see, it feels like they haven't changed. Maybe I'm being too scrupulous or whatever. Maybe they will be blessed enough to find themselves in these coming years as I have to have found myself. But I feel I can't really connect with them anymore. It makes you think a lot.

I went to one of the old bars that kids from my old school go to. It was whack as usual. All I could think about when I was there was about how much I wanted to break. I kept daydreaming russ, rain, or kate were there to start a cypher with me. But I just top rocked in the corner. No one in my town understands bboying. Its almost like being in a foreign country where no one can understand you.

I know I've had my bouts with being depressed about dc and wanting to try somewhere new. But being back home really makes me miss DC. Makes me miss the new people that I've been blessed to have enter my life.

I tried really hard in college to help my friends. I knew a lot of people heading down destructive paths with partying, drugs, attitudes and what not. To me making a difference is really important. And there have been people I've seen on the better path and doing really well. But to me its so depressing to see those people that are on that same road or even further down it. I guess its not like a failure, people wont change unless they want. But those people are still my friends, and I feel bad.

I guess maybe I have high expectations of everyone, and that leads to being dissapointed a lot. And I've been thinking about that too. But I don't feel I should lower my standards if the world can't keep up. Otherwise I will never make any positive impact in the world. I guess I should be happy that I've helped the few people that I have. And that having my life crossed with theirs has had a positive effect in the world. The road to success is not always the one with the least pain/dissapointment. That however is the road less travelled. I will continue to walk this trail in my life ever faithful that it will lead to a better place.

Fly Sucks!

So Washington DC, one year ago, there was this awesome little club called Red. It was the underground kind of place that real dancers would go to. They played really good house music. A lot of the bboys from the city went, and it was merry. For some reason they closed it, its business, it happens I suppose. So last week a new club opened where Red used to be. This club was started by a DJ, designed by a DJ, with a cool airplane theme. Hoping, since a DJ designed it, it would be a nice little dance spot ,and since a friend of mine was promoting there I went to check it out. DC already has enough exclusive wannabe clubs, where all the rich guys try to throw their money at any girl walking by, wearing their lame ass striped button up bannana rebuplic shirts with their colars popped.

The music was ok, but without a dancefloor whats the use? Red used to have a decent size dancefloor with a backroom where mostly breakers went. That has been transformed into completely useless space. They took 8 feet off each side of the dancefloor making VIP booths on each side. The cost of a booth? $500 MINIMUM bottle service. So if you're trying to get laid and you've got a few G's to spend, and your looking "fresh" or whatever in your new gap wardrobe, this is the place for you. If you're a dancer, or someone looking for a good time and not fake or rich, steer clear of this place.

I read some reviews about the DJ who started this club, and some interviews were trying to call him the best DJ in the DC area. Bullshit! When I came in I saw a laptop set up, come on, anyone can play Mp3's, download/buy the right mixing software buy one of those stupid scratching machines, and you're still not a DJ...Disc Jockey? Thats an insult to the real DJs throwing down, like my man Jon Jon, who in my personal opinion is one of the best real DJ's in DC.

I don't think fly will last long. As soon as its novelty wears off, no one will go there. I saw something kind of funny. If you've been there before you'll know what I'm talking about. The VIP booths have some table that looks pretty futuristic. The problem? The tabletop isn't solidly attached to anything. So as soon as some drunken fool puts his weight on it...crash! I witnessed last night that very thing.

I guess my wednesday nights will still be ruled by Saki. Also check out Thursday nights at Modern....the best club in dc.

Peace

Nation Battle

So last night halfstep battled! I was a little worried since I'm dancing on a broken prosthesis, but that didnt stop me. I redeemed myself from my performance at Circles. I made it past the prelims, which kind of surprised me. So I was in the top 16. And I think it was rigged, but my first battle was against goofball. For those of you who don't know, I lost to goof at my first battle ever. We tied, and I lost the tie breaker. Its kind of funny though, last night was like deja vu. I battled goof and the judges declared it a tie. But the tie breaker was crowd response, and I couldn't compete with goofy on that. Mad props though. It was a good battle, and I think I rep'd myself well.

After the battles I got to see grandmaster flash. He dj'd the party for 2 to 3 hours with the illest old school beats. It was a lot of fun. Too crowded to cypher though, which kind of sucked. But gmf was awesome. He opened a circle at the end and let us dance. But there were so many bboys and it only lasted a few songs so I couldn't run out into it. This place was mad crowded. I'm really glad I went though. I almost didnt go because of my broken foot.

I just found out something kind of crappy. Exit...no wait he changed to raven(lame). Anyway, my boy from RAW alliance (my crew) is also dancing for another crew. Which kind of sucks, I think RAW will be doing nothing now. So I guess I'm more or less a free agent again. I want to get into a serious crew man. I wouldnt mind getting down with exit's new crew, started by Tazk. Also I would like to join CAB, with my boy Iron man. Both are serious crews, Savage is brand new, but I think they have drive. arg this SUCKS!!!

Fake Legs Are Expensive

I really know how to put the "break" in breakdance. So I've had this prosthesis for a little over a year now. And the liners have started to wear down and get holes on them. It’s kind of understandable, because I am pretty tough on this thing. So I went to get a prescription from a general doctor to get them replaced. Ya I know its kind of funny that I have to see a doctor to get a prescription about something I know more about than him, but that’s the way insurance works. I had my prosthetisist (say that 10 times fast) look at my leg when I was seeing him because it has been making some funny noises. Apparently I've cracked it.

Just to give you all a little education about prosthetic legs, there are 3 basic parts, the sleeve, the socket or shell, and the foot. The sleeve touches your skin and provides the most padding. Mine is specially fitted and made out of some silicone like material. The shell is made of carbon fiber. It is also custom fit to me. This is supposed to be one of the tough parts of the leg. The final part of prosthesis is the foot. This is the most expensive part, and possibly the most important for mobility.

Now I’ll give you a little history about my past breakages. My foot component is called the renegade. This foot is supposed to be one of the more advanced/durable models for high activity people. They have a warrantee that is good for two years. Within having my leg for 6 months, I've broken 2. So each time they told the company to make them stronger, and finally I think they've listened because this one still seems to be going strong. Just to give you an idea, this part of the leg costs near $7000-8000.

As I said earlier I also have worn out the sleeve. These cost about $800 and you order them in sets of 2. So I have worn out my first set completely. Not only have they developed holes, but after so much use, oils from sweat and normal use break down the silicone layer. Then they don’t fit as well, and slip off more. The lifetimes of these are 1-2 years. So I'm not so bad here. I'm skating on the minimum.

Also, I have cracked my socket. These have a lifetime closer to that of the foot. Maybe 3-5 years. I have broken this in one year. These cost around $5000. For now I have just had this patched, although they told me the that could last anywhere from 6 months to a year. Given my skills in destroying these things, I give it 3 months tops.

Now as you can see all these repairs are expensive. Who could imagine it costs so much money to be able to walk just like everyone else. So be thankful all you two legged people. Granted I do have health insurance through work, but this only covers 85%, leaving me to foot the rest of the bill. If I was rich, it wouldn't seem so bad. While I'm not dirt poor or anything, this does hold me back quite a bit. I want to be able to afford decent things, to be able to get a car, ect. I just feel already its a hurdle to have to deal with having only one leg, let alone finance something that costs as much as a car just to be able to walk and do every day things.

Granted some would argue if you have one leg you shouldn’t be breakdancing, or doing crazy sports. But I would argue why not? It’s my dream to shatter this image of disabled people and show the world what is possible with hard work and determination. Technology has come so far over the past few decades, but it comes at a price.

While I was sitting in the waiting room at the prosthetic clinic, they showed inspiring video's of people who've recovered. One stood out in my mind. There was a guy in the army who was a paratrooper/skydiver. He had an accident while skydiving and lost both legs. After recovering he got his job back in the army, and he was showing all of his legs. He had ones for biking, ones for swimming, for scuba diving, for running, for sky diving. All I could think of is how in the heck he could afford all those legs. FYI, a leg costs at least 12,000, and specialized ones are even more.

I know at this point in my life I couldn't afford those if I wanted to. So I started thinking of ways I could get better performance legs on my budget. I realize alone its not really possible. But then after much prayer and thought I have an idea. I've read about a lot of silly websites lately where people are trying to make money; one where a guy is advertising advertisement space on his webpage by the pixel, another where someone is trying to trade a red paperclip for a house. Why couldn't I do something similar? It’s for a good cause, and I think it will help more than just me; a website to share inspiration for those who need it most. That is part of my dream, to help other disabled people. But right now it’s me who needs help. I've got a few ideas. I think first I have to start a company, which I hear isn't so hard. Maybe halfstep productions, I'm open to suggestions. I think seeking corporate sponsorship is a good idea. Along with the revamp of my webpage, I can add a donation link to a paypal account. I can offer advertising space on my prosthesis's. There are plenty of ideas. I just need to plan them out. I think there are a lot of good hearted people out there who are willing to help, they just don't know how. I'm not really good at asking for help, but if I plan on helping others, I'm going to need help to do it.

So bboyhalfstep.com's face is going to have to change. I could also search for the best people in the prosthetics industry. Also try to get sponsorships from prosthetic companies. I think that if I can get all this, and get the best leg possible, it will highly increase my chances of achieving battle of the year. So if you're out there and listening, please help out. If not financially please keep your prayers with me. And keep a watch out for halfstep.

Peace
and thanks

Depression

Ok so no posts in a while right? I haven't been feeling all that up. Lots of things going on. It doesn't seem like I've been in DC almost 2 years already, but I'm getting to that mark. It doesn't feel like home here yet. I haven't really made any "best friends" like I had back home. I don't know what it is. If I'm too shy, if I don't fit in here, or what the deal is. It just seems like everyone is so busy with their own lives, they already have their own friends, and there isn't room for me. Its something I struggle with off and on. Thank God I have dance as an outlet or I would have went nuts by now. But with my major back pain for the past few weeks, and for some reason my muscles don't want to work at all this week. That's not helping any. I think the depression is effecting my body. I need to cheer things up. Something is missing in my life.

I contemplated moving to another city. But would that be solving anything? Would I be in this same situation two years from now in a different city? I've never run away from anything in my life (other than those friggen muggers who tried to jump me), and I'm not going to start now. Making friends has always been hard for me. And with the busy life with dancing and work, I guess this is the time in my life when I've had the least free time. So maybe its understandable that I haven't met so many people. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places.

When I was at the battle last week, I got the awesome privilege to go pick up one of the judges the night before. I got to meet Little John from Havikoro crew. I was really impressed by him. And I'm usually not impressed by people I've never met based on the fact they are famous (well at least in the bboy world). But Exit and I got to talk to him on a really long ride from Dulles to Reagan to Dulles to JMU, while getting lost along the way (long story). But he had some really interesting views on the world, and in particular dance.

I've never been a really spiritual person. When I was younger, I rejected God for what happened to me. Later I realized that he saved me and had bigger plans for me. But other than that I'm not spiritual. Little John is really spiritual. Not in the shove it down your throat, "I'm right, you're wrong", but more in a way "This is how I feel through my life's experience." Think about it. What religion doesn't involve dance of some sort? Could it be dance is a sort of prayer? I never thought of it that way. But it makes sense. Some connection. When I do dance, I'm not completely me. I'm in a different place, I feel stronger, I have more focus, more confidence. I never really go to church, and I don't really pray, but could dancing bring me closer to God? I've been thinking maybe that is missing from my life. Maybe that's one of the reasons I feel so lonely so often. Empty in a way.

I've always been so stubborn in my life. I never want to accept help from anyone, and I want to do it all by myself. Like in college when I had leg problems and had to be on crutches. I would go through the cafeteria line and carry the tray on my crutches, I had plenty of friends who wanted to help, but I got so angry, I wouldn't let them. Maybe I need to accept the fact that I'm only human. I want to accomplish so much in my life, doing it all alone isn't the best option. I need help from others, support, but most of all I think I need God. I think maybe that's the hardest thing for me is to leave it in someone else's hands. All I can do is try my hardest every day. If girls don't like me, I can't change it. If people don't want to be my friend, I can't change it. If my body won't let me go to the battle of the year, I can't change it. But all these things are important to me. I try at all of them with all my heart. But I need God's help to attain them.

Its really hard for me to say can't. I believe anything is possible. My heart is there, my soul is there, I put forth the effort, and by God's grace I will achieve my goals. But I need to include him in my life. I need to ask for his help, his guidance. That's one thing in my life I need to change. Maybe I will join a church. I never really felt comfortable in church. Maybe its because I was always forced to go, I don't know. But I think I should give it another shot. What's the worst that could happen? I might even make some more friends. Who knows?

The next thing I need to change is where I live. Living alone in DC is exactly that. Alone. Its time I moved outside the city and got a car. Then I won't be slave to the ridiculous metro schedules. It will probably make my commute to work longer, but its a small sacrifice I suppose. I'm not sure where to live though. I don't think driving into the city every day would be convenient, so I was thinking somewhere near a metro possibly in Maryland. If anyone knows DC really well, I'm open to suggestions. FYI I work in L'enfant Plaza in SW DC, and 2-3 times a week I have Culture Shock practice in Strathmore.

How should I change dance? Rule 1, don't get discouraged. These are only tests of faith. I was really disappointed in my performance at the JMU battle. I choked. I wasn't feeling the music, I wasn't feeling the battle. Next time I will be more ready. I think my next battle is in end of June, so that gives my crew and me 2 months to practice. We will do better! Rule 2, include God in dance.

Please keep me in your prayers, this is a really hard time in my life. But we have these hard times to make us a stronger person and so that we can learn from life.

Thanks
Especially to Kate and Exit for being there when I needed someone to talk to.

April 1st JMU Circles battle

Its on motha's! RAW Alliance's first contest entry is April 1st at JMU Circles. Haha Short notice, but it will be my first real battle. Im friggen psyched!

DC Shopping Completely Blows!

This is suppose to be some kind of metropolis right? Why is it every time I try to go shopping they sell nothing. The only thing this friggen place has to offer is crappy striped Nova Uniforms, tight white boy jeans, or 4xxx size tshirts. Its not like I'm looking for something diffifult. Just some summer clothes that don't make me look like some preppy chump, or a complete wigger. Including:

Jeans that don't make me look like some 12 year old japanese school boy. Why don't shorts go past your knees anymore? Last I checked men's thighs were not the sexiest part of the body. Who wears short shorts? Not I!

Shoes: Why is every shoe company making the ugliest shiniest shoes ever? Who wears this crap? Its either shiny plastic, or suade, the suade shoes look nice, but they last 3 weeks or 1 day of rain, then they are trash. Even the skate stores are bleak.

Belt: I've been looking for a new belt for god knows how long. Its sad the belt i got in the midwest for 10 dollars is better than any of the 40 dollar advertisement belts that I find here from banana republic or even hects. Why do all these belts have to print their huge name on the buckle? What am I a billboard?

Maybe I'm looking at the wrong places, but I've been to about every metro accessable mall in the dc/va/md area, and they are all the same. Gap, Banana, Express, Macey's(or lookalike), rinse and repeat. Then there's urban outfitter, where they overcharge your ass for some clothes that look like they were pulled out of someones closet. Why are old clothes in fasion? This is so lame. Who thought of this crap? If it looks old, I don't want to pay $50+ for it. I can go to salvation army and get some old clothes for $2.

Its funny that last year in the 20 minutes I spent shopping on my vaccation back to illinois I found sooo much stuff, that in hours upon hours of mall experiences I can't find anything. No wonder everyone in north virginia looks the same....there are only about 3 styles to choose from. I really miss shopping in the midwest. I never had to waste a whole saturday to find absolutely nothing. I could go to 2-3 stores in 1-2 hours and find a complete wardrobe and for half the price of anything here. I guess I'm going to be spending my shopping season's online from now on.

Raw Alliance Crew represent!

So after 2 years of bboying, its about time I joined a crew. Today my boy Exit asked me to join his crew. Im so excited! Now I can join more battles. The crew consists of me, Exit, Recon, Marc(tomahak), and Lyte. I hope there's a jam soon so we can represent!

Tonight modern was sooo dope. The new dj is hot. He's not the best at mixing, but he'll be a lot better soon. His music selection is just plain dope. No more top 40's.....well some, but at least no 9 song G-unit marathons. He plays some old, some new, a lot of classics that get you to boogie down. Also for the first hour or 2 he played straight up break beats for us. Exit decided tonight we were going to own the floor. So if anyone came out, we hadda go show em up haha. A lot of people showed up, and my good friend Rashad showed up. He's a bad ass dancer, mostly house and popping. So all the poppers and lockers were out tonight, so it was a really good time.

My leg is messed up as all hell though. I need to rest...but I need to practice...what a dilema.

Tomorrow night I want to perform again at the art gallery...but I think I'm just going to get together with exit, seth and joni to practice. Ironman was telling me about his new spot on mondays. He goes to Lucky Bar at 8, and they give free salsa lessons for an hour and then party afterwords. It sounds really fun, and I wouldnt mind learning to salsa. So if you want to watch me make an ass of myself stop by :D
Saturday is going to be bad ass. Theres a jam up in baltimore. The footwork battle. I can't wait to see the battles. They are going to give me a lot of ideas for things to try. And russ is going to be Ill.

Man i need a day off. But life is good.

Peace

The ever dangling carrot

So after a lot of discouragement, life goes in and reminds you there is a carrot ever dangling in front of you, guiding you towards your dreams. This past week has been ok, things have been not so interesting at work, and has been really frustrating with dance. But, towards the end of the week all those things came to a head, and I again can see the carrot clearly. I guess it all started with my bboy valentines, I just chilled in the gym and practiced for 3 hours. Wed night, 5 hours.

Needless to say, my body was tired, but even then so, I had an awesome thurs at modern. The music was kicking, and a lot of old faces showed up. This was also RBI's last night DJing. Hopefully the next guy will be as much and more bboy friendly.....and pls, keep the top 40's to a minimum. My laffy taffy has shooken enough for this millenium. But anyway, I was throwing down some pretty good sets, getting props. Even though I couldn't feel my arms and legs, I had a ton of power somehow. My footwork was clean too! Later in the night some guy introduced himself to me, and asked me if I wanted to dance in a fashion show for his clothing line. But there were a few bad occurances...mainly dancing with a girl to have her grab my hand to notice its not normal, and then conveniently drift off.....shallow ppl Not enough to bring me down though. The universe will punish you accordingly.

Friday night, my body finally gave in. I had culture shock practice, I still suck at choreo, but I think im getting a little better....i look a little bit less like an idiot, but an idiot none the less. Afterwords I wanted to just go home and crash, but I tried to go out to panache, thank god it was too packed to bboy. I threw down 3 or 4 sets while there was a little circle with bboy Exit, but after that my legs seriously wouldnt work. I was really trying to dance....but my body just told me to "go fuck yourself."

Gotta get more endurance like ironman! But needless to say, I'm feeling better about things. Gotta keep sticking in there, and someday maybe I can eat that tasty orange carrot :D

Gotta get away

Ok, so its been a while since I've been out of the city. I think its starting to get to me. I'm really in a rut about everything, work, dance, guitar, love life (non existant :\). I'm drudging along, but I think i need to get away. I need to go somewhere quiet. Ever been somewhere where you can hear silence? I know it doesnt make sense, but thats how I felt returning home after being in tokyo. A weekend or more of a nice place would do me some good. Maybe go canoeing in green oaks, that was fun, and relaxing. But alas, I'm saving my vacation to go back to Japan this summer. Maybe someone in DC can brisk me away to some remote location.

Just trying to stay positive. It can be hard sometimes. But when times get tough, the tough keep going. You've got to fall down before you get up.

intimidation

So I had my first culture shock practice friday night. Its probably the most intimidated I've felt in the longest time. I'm really bad at choreography. When I'm bboying, and I'm in the circle, I feel the music, and my body moves, all without a single thought. When I'm trying to do choreography its the opposite. I'm thinking so much about every step, trying to keep up with everyone else, I can't even feel the music at all. I think it was the first time I really felt unable to do something. Its really discouraging when everyone around you picks the moves up so quickly.

But halfstep isn't a quitter. If I have to feel stupid, awkward, and incompetant every practice, I will just have to hammer through it. Like dad always says, "no pain no gain." Hopefully soon I'll get better....