This past year was a year of many changes.
This year I saw the end of an era in DC. After so many years of going to the same party, the party that was my gateway into the DC scene, it finally came to and end. It was a surreal moment for me. Thursday nights were so ingrained into me as my night. I got to DJ, dance, and hang out with my friends. It was one of the only times I got to share my music and passion with the rest of the world. Only it seemed that no one really wanted to hear. Commercial music took over and the need for profit overran the need for culture. I'm not too upset about it; its the way the world works. The party had been dwindling for years. I will always remember it as it was at its peak. I'm not sure I would even still be dancing I had never found that party so many years ago.
After that, I lost a lot of my inspiration for DJing. I still played around a little bit, but I hadn't been digging for music in a long time. And my next mix is still long long overdue. For a short time there was little to no music in my life, only what I listened to at practice. With no music there was a void, but what I was listening to wasn't cutting it anymore. So I started to experiment with different music. I started listening to a lot of Jazz and Blues. I even went back to listen to all my favorite metl/alt/punk bands from the 90s. That made me so nostalgic of my days in college with my band so I started playing guitar again. But it was different than before. Before, I had always been happy just learning and playing songs. Now I felt the need to understand music and what I was doing. I had somehow developed a crazy discipline and so I started training hard. I got lost. I was playing 2-3 hours a day, working 8 hours, and bboy training 2 hours. Not a lot of time for any kind of social life. But I felt content anyway.
For a long time I've been withdrawn into myself. I have so many things I feel like I need to accomplish. I don't often feel like being around large groups of people. I rarely ever go to a club. I would be content to just have a few friends over and fix a nice dinner. Maybe I'm getting old who knows. I feel like I'm on the verge of attaining a lot of my goals. I feel like I just need to keep fighting and things will slowly start to work out.
I was blessed in the past year to have the opportunity to travel to Bulgaria, Germany, and Holland. It was a wonderful trip and a much needed break from my routines in life. Its always good to break away so you can gain some perspectives on your life. I met a lot of wonderful people and was greatly inspired. Jam on it in Bulgaria is one of my favorite Jams. Every time I go I'm reminded of why I truly love this culture and what I think this culture should be. I got the chance to hang out with Ken Swift and Forest Gump and hear so many hilarious tales from the early days of bboying in the bronx. I got to see my first battle of the year. It was a unique experience. It was amazing to see so many bboys, an entire city full. I also got to see my father's homeland and eat doner kebab haha. I had a great time relaxing and just being able to spend time with my friends in Stuttgart.
I've been thinking a lot about the future in the past year. I don't know where the future will lead me, but I've been preparing to buy a house. I'm tired of living in apartments. I'm ready to have my own space, build myself a studio and have a true place to call my home. The housing market in DC is so horrible I've had to think about other places. But who knows, that day is still a few years in the future. Maybe things will change before then.
Everything in life moves in circles. For a long time I had closed out a lot of things from myself and the world. Something happened recently that made me face a lot of feelings I was denying myself for years. Some things are difficult to face and some wounds take a long time to heal; especially if you deny them. I don't have all the answers, but I'm ready to face life again.
This next year will be another fulfilling year of many changes. Sometimes I feel like I'm racing a clock, like there's some imaginary line drawn in the sand. In dance, I can already feel my body getting older. But I'm in the best physical condition I've been in years, and I'm not ready to stop any time soon. This is my essence: relentless. I will continue to do my best.
