Just some thoughts to end a productive week

This week was pretty good. I've really been focusing on my arts a lot. I'm starting to get more organized with guitar. I started transcribing all the songs I know and am keeping a book now of them so I don't forget everything. I've actually been able to play an hour or two every night and have been able to bboy a few hours every night as well.

I feel like a lot of things in my life are really coming together now. For anyone who doesn't know me well, over the past 6 months I lost like 30 lbs. I'm trying for an extra 10, but its going really slowly. I think I'm getting close to the threshold. I started doing a lot of isometric training outside of bboying and swimming again as well. I think that it has really improved my core and helping me get closer to getting many of the power moves I've been working on for a long time.

Since I started writing again, I decided to go through all my old stuff. It was emotionally overpowering to read everything that was going through me a decade ago. I have come such a far way and never really seen it. But as a person I haven't changed too much since then. I can really see where my drive came from. At that time I was so obsessed with being normal. In that I mean not being handicapped, or at least be able to be perceived the same way as everyone else. I think that will always be one of my biggest driving factors, but since then I've set the bar a lot higher and attack it with 10 times the fury.

There's still a lot from my last post roaming through my mind, but I feel like I'm better able to channel it into something positive now. If you know me you'd never really think it, but I really over-think a lot of things. In some things I am really patient, but in this it comes with great difficulty. Sorry to be so vague.

Today was actually really good for me. I was able to practice guitar for several hours, practice bboying, lift, swim, and even clean out my closet. I also started writing some new stuff to get some things out. I should have done this a long time ago.

Anyway there's still a few hours left in the day to get some more stuff done. Peace out.

~Halfstep

Starting to write again

Last weekend was really bitter sweet for me. It brought back a lot of strong feelings. For a long time, I don't think I've really let myself feel anything. I just keep trucking along, trying to stay busy and grow in everything I do, from guitar, dance, work, DJing, ect ect. Every moment is just the next task, something to keep me creatively busy. Reflecting on it seems I live quite a lonely life, but I've not really noticed. Its amazing sometimes how after so long, people don't really change, and feelings you had over 5 years ago can just come crashing back full force like they never went away. I can't decide whether or not to just bury it again and keep doing what I do. There's probably not a lot I can do anyway. The universe loves to play games with me.

My trip to NYC was really good. I was so tired at the end, but it was really good to see my old friends and a few new ones. I really miss my time in college with my band/friends. I started getting really serious about guitar again since December and am really enjoying it. After everything that happened this weekend, I decided to start writing again. Whether or not its a smart thing to do is still up in the air. Its been a long time and everything I was feeling really inspired me. I even decided to start chronicling my guitar, from all the songs I've written to all the songs I learn.

Its strange. This is one of the few times I really don't know what to do. Now I know why I don't let myself feel things haha. I guess all I can do is be patient and keep doing my best to enjoy life and keep doing my best to be a good person. Why is it we only worry about the things in life that we have no control over.