Chekitouchou ( check it out yo)

Ok random name post!! Had some pretty good discoveries tonight from others having discoveries....if that makes sense. I had a really good talk with a close friend about culture shock tonight and goals in general. Sometimes we make excuses for ourselves and say "I'm not good enough" for things and just give up, or since we have that notion predefined in our head we don't try our hardest. I've seen that in myself even. Early in my culture shock days it was just something to help me with dance. It was never try hard to make the team, or become an awesome choreographer. But as with all things you're only going to get out what you put in. And because I wasn't putting in everything I had, I wasn't getting much back.

For me, the biggest turning point in my views on culture shock are all thanks to Kate. When she left for AZ, she gave me a gift. Something so simple, but it meant so much to me. It was just a bandana she wore to her last performance with cultureshock DC. It was given with the stipulation that I wear this at my first performance. Kind of a passing of the torch. And with Kate being such an awesome dancer, these are like size 500 shoes I've now to fill. For me that act was like a promise. It was like, "Ok, now I'm going to do this." Those words are so simple, life can be so simple, but we always make things difficult with our questioning and our excuses. I'm going to perform with culture shock, I'm going to make core team, and I want to do it within the next year. I want to learn how to choreograph and how to mimic other peoples movements. I can no longer say, "I'm too left handed to get this right" or "if only I had 2 ankles." Do I ever make those excuses in bboying? No its my own style, but even then I find my own ways to overcome my own problems, and so it shall be with choreography and culture shock. Can I simply say I'm too shy to ask for help, or think that everyone thinks I suck? How can I blame anyone else or make any excuse for my lack of skill? We are in control of our own lives, our own skill. We just need to decide, put forth our heart, soul, sweat, blood, whatever it takes to get what you want. But the biggest thing is to know what you want and take it.

My father is a really simple man, but there is so much wisdom in it. He doesn't get caught up with all the bullshit, if he wants to do something he does it. When I was a kid, he always told me "Can't won't", and the most disappointed I've ever seen him is when I've said I can't do something. Its true, we are only limited by the limitations we set for ourselves. Many people have told me that my dance is an inspiration to them. Its just as much a struggle for me. The only reason I have any skill at all is that I've made a decision in my life. I decided to be a bboy, I wanted to be the best bboy, I decided I need to practice harder than anyone to become what I want. Every day I work, I eat, I practice, I sleep. I've made sacrifices for bboying, but that's my dream, that is my goal.

I guess these are just my inner thoughts, but what to take from this? Find inside your goals and just do them. Don't make excuses, don't let anyone tell you "you can't", and never say that yourself. Never "do nothing" because life is too precious to waste. And if you are on culture shock and reading this, please criticize my choreo and if you see me struggling, lend a hand. If you see me slacking off call me out.

And thanks to all those who've contributed to my views and made me a stronger person.

Godbless
Halfstep

shopping spree

So if you know me at all, you know that I absolutely abhore shopping. Especially when it's shopping for clothes. But, clothes do wear out, and instead of looking like a bum, I gotta do what I gotta do. This week was tax free week in MD, so I decided to go out and take advantage of all the sales; destroying a saturday in the process. I went to 2 different malls, and several other stores and spent a small fortune. Here is my shopping list:
4 Pairs of dress pants
1 pair of jeans
5 tshirts
6 pairs of socks
3 Computer books
2 pairs of skate/break shoes
ankle weights
elbow pad
knee pad
a belt

It wasn't exactly the shopping list I had in mind, but its what I found lol. I still need to get a lamp though, mine broke the other day. I've found there are some stores I never care to shop at, like nordstroms. Every pair of jeans I saw was at least 100 dollars, ya right! If you wanna pay 2-3 times the normal price be my guest and buy all the designer bs, in my opinion its made a lot cheaper than the "cheap" brands. Maybe you can impress more girls that way, i dunno, but you can keep those type of women any way, they would never chase after me haha.

I've also discovered Maryland drivers can't drive or park. I can't count the number of times I had to skip a parking place because some idiot parked crooked. Im not even talking paralell parking, just normal parking, of compact cars. I'm glad I didn't pay any taxes on the things I bought, I wouldn't want to support your shoddy driver training programs.

I also was thinking today about how close skaters and bboys really are as a culture. When in the skate shop I noticed, because the skaters who worked there really reminded me of bboys I knew. Both arts are looked down upon by a lot of the older generation, and misunderstood by the current generations. Most people just wanna see stupid tricks. But skaters and bboys alike are really dedicated to their art, spend ungodly amounts of time polishing their styles. We both have contests and underground cultures. Skate videos and bboy videos are similar. I think there are a lot more similarities too. But I'm tired, and going to dream about bboying anyway, so PEACE out!

Halfstep

Chickenstep

Ayo! Last night was pretty fun, I went to thursday's choreo class and I knew a lot of the choreo already so it wasn't hard to keep up....but I still look like a complete fool, but I got to goof off and have a lot of fun. Hopefully that awkwardness will wear off with time. I wish I could more immitate other people's dance style...or at least look smooth. I'm such a bboy, all my dance is so tough :(

Afterwards I met up with Exit and Seth at Saki for a little wednesday night cyphering. It was pretty fun, we had a little audience, and this cute girl kept smiling at me. I battled exit (not a serious one) and held my own really well. He needs to start practicing or I'm going to start smoking him haha. Someone asked us if they could take a short video. Usually if someone puts me on the spot like that I will screw up...but last night I guess I wasn't thinking about it and just having fun. I hit my footwork to 90 and jumped into my elbow freeze. The crowd that night wasn't really cheering or anything that night, but that got some O's!.

Back to the girl, why am I such a chicken!!! She told me she liked my dance and that I should go dance more on the floor. Before I left I went and introduced myself and said goodbye. I should have asked for her number or something or even just talked to her for a while, but I'm such a chicken!! Haha, being shy has its setbacks. If you're out there cute asian girl find me!!! haha.

Peace
Halfstep

House in the Halfstep!

So for the past 3 years, my whole dance style has been bboying. For the past year or 2, I have eaten, slept, dreamed of bboying. My style has progressed a lot. I'm not considered sick or anything. I have some style, I can rock the beat, got some footwork and a lil power. But what do I have to distinguish myself....aside from being 1 legged I guess haha. I've decided I need to learn other dance styles. Joining culture shock last year was a good start. Learning how to do choreography is probably going to be one of my biggest challenges as a dancer, but in the end hard work always pays off no?

Long story short, I've decided that I'm going to learn how to house dance. I'm extremely blessed to have some people from the DC scene offer to show me a thang or two. House(the person) is an incredible dancer, and he offered to show me his trade. Its only been a week, and I still feel like a complete whitey on the floor, but I'm starting to understand more about the music and the dance. House(the music) is all about freeing yourself, letting the music take over, its more smooth than breaking, and its very difficult for me to grasp. Well I was dancing the other night and a black guy walked up to me and said you must have some n***** in your blood the way you dance. I was caught kind of off guard haha. But I thought it was a really funny statement. I'll have to let my dad know that perhaps he's not my dad lol.

I think this weekend I've probably clocked about 20 hours dancing haha, my legs are dead, I think my real foot is about to come off. But the pain will make my legs faster, and make me a better dancer. Tonight I went to another house(music) party. I've never joined a house circle because I really have no idea what I'm doing, but someone pushed me into it tonight, and I just went with it. It felt kind of awkward at first, but then something happened, I got caught in the moment and then everyone started cheering and clapping. At that moment I completely lost it, I just let the music take over. I ended up pulling out some bboy stuff (standing on my head) and I was kicking my legs in a house beat somehow hitting the beat. Everyone went wild! It was really cool. I think its just beginners luck.

I think that taught me a really big lesson about house dancing, and probably house in general. When you are nervous, and really worried what people are thinking, it stops you. It takes up part of you, your mind starts working too hard, and your body can't express the music properly. Once you let go of everything, and just feel the music, and let your body do what it wants with no concern of who's watching or who thinks you're whack, it moves correctly. Its good to learn different dance styles and different dance patterns/steps, but the most important for you is to truely feel the dance. It is then and only then when you'll come up with some truly unique stuff that is yours alone.

A lot of this reminds me of something Kate told me once. Each time you learn a new style, it makes all of your other styles better by proxy. I'm a bboy. I'll always be a bboy, thats my chosen style. But the more I learn about house, popping, locking, salsa, whatever style, I can take the lessons I've learned from those and apply it to my bboying. That is where a bboy gets his truly unique flavor, when he can progress bboying style and bboy art. So I guess I'll be learning for a damn long time, because there are lots of styles out there to learn. And I'm betting the more styles I learn, the better dancer I'll become and the more quickly I can pick up new styles. And I hope there are as nice of people out there in each of these new styles as I have met through my experiences with bboying, housing, and hiphop/choreo. We
re all artists, and we've got to keep our art alive by sharing it with others.

Peace
Halfstep

The power of dance

So today I was having a really bad day. Just when I was really starting to like work and where I was going, today we found the results of the anual process. I wasn't totally expecting to get promoted this year. I have a lot of tough competition at my level, but still I think I deserve some recognition for the accomplishments I've made. Sometimes I think because I'm not a star developer "yet", I don't get the recognition I deserve. Somehow I got rated an average rating. This means I am in the 50th percentile of people at my level. That is complete garbage, I think I'm in at least the top quarter. I'm not a "star" developer, but my skills as a Config manager and websphere expert have provided the company with a lot of value. I can't count the number of times I've went outside my normal responsibilities to assist other projects with their config/webshpere issues and bailed them out.

My coach/manager, who is also my good friend was trying to make it all sound better and put things into perspective about how to try harder for next year, but I wasn't hearing it. I don't think I'll stick with Accenture is this is how they are going to treat me. I can make a lot more money elsewhere. He told me some of it had to do with my stance on not working crazy hours anymore. I don't think its fair to rate people higher because they are willing to sacrifice their social lives for the company. When you are so burned out from being overworked, you may seem to be working harder, but your productivity is stifled. Accenture needs to realize this. They lose a lot of their most talented people because they don't treat us right. They'd rather promote some ass kissers, or less talented people just because they are willing to work 60+ hours a week.

I was so angry when I first heard this morning. I couldn't focus on my work so much. All I could think about was that I wanted to dance, or at least play some guitar to get rid of the anger. Then just sitting there I started to feel depressed, especially hearing of other people getting promoted. I'm going to be even more angry when they publish the lists of those who were promoted and I see people who don't have half my skill on there. Not to be cocky, there are quite a few people at my level who could beat me hands down, but I'm just being realistic. I may not work crazy hours, but I do work hard, and I do things outside my expected work to add value to the company. Will I continue to do so? I'm seriously having second thoughts. Why should I bust my ass for accenture if they aren't going to take care of me.

Needless to say I kept getting more angry, and when I finally calmed down I started feeling depressed and sorry for myself, which sucked. I came home and just did nothing for an hour or so and was even going to skip practice. I didn't feel like doing anything. I'm really glad I made myself get out and hit the gym though. I've said it before and I'll say it again, dance is my medicine. Once I heard the beats, my feet were moving, my adrenaline started pumping and my mind forgot about all that was bothering me.

I'm reminded of something little jon taught me. The bboy not the rapper... Dance is something spritual. Some people go to church to feel close to God, or they pray, or they do whatever it is people do. For me, when I dance, that is my prayer. When my body and mind gain one focus, and I become one with the music, I feel at peace. Tonight I really felt in that zone. I wasn't thinking, I didn't have to see what I was doing, I didn't have to pay attention to the music. I just got lost in the moment. My feet followed the beat in ways I never though of before, my dance became so abstract and I was hitting all the beats, almost like russ, it was amazing. I felt like I really grew as a dancer in the short hour I practiced. I hope I can practice like that more often, even though I can't use all that in breaking, the amount of style that came out of nowhere, I can pull so much from it and become a better dancer.

I'm so glad God showed me dance. To turn such negative feelings around is pretty amazing. I wish everyone was so lucky to find something they love so much. And although I'm still angry about the way my company is treating me, I can't let it get to me. I'll find a new company, Accenture is the one who is missing out, not me. Maybe its God's way of telling me to move on to better things. I will stick around long enough to see how good my raise is, then I'm going to start sending out my resume again.

Music is so powerful. Thanks to bboy soji for making an awesome mix tape with so much beautiful break music. Thanks to all the bboys and bgirls who have shared their style with me. Thanks to the doctors/professionals who put me back together and make my legs so I can dance. Thanks to all my friends who've supported me during all my good times and bad times. Ok I guess I'm in a weird mood. Time to go to sleep.

Peace
Halfstep

Contagious Inspiration

So tonight I was practicing at GW with Joni and she left early, but I wasn't tired so I kept on going. I really like practicing alone sometimes. I get a lot of ideas then, and I never feel embarrassed to try new things, or don't worry if my dance looks stupid. I think its at these times I make the most progress. But even when you think you are alone and no one is watching, there are these things called security cameras. One of the security guards came by after a half hour. I'm not usually so warmly accepted by security guards, from my time as a skater and even as a bboy, I'm oft chased away. But this security guard started some small talk and was asking about my dancing. He then thanked me and said he saw me on the security camera and he was having a pretty bad day. He said he noticed my leg and decided that his problems weren't so bad afterall and could be a lot worse. I felt kind of embarrassed, but I was glad to provide someone some inspiration when "no one was looking."

I felt kind of inspired by that statement though. If you think about it, most people live in a pretty self centered world. We all have problems, and somehow in our own minds our personal problems are so huge. Well to us they are, but if you take the advice of the security guard, there's always someone worse off than you. All of us have some kind of blessings in our life. If we focus only on our own faults, our lives will suck. I think its better to focus on your blessings and be happy and thankful. No one will ever have everything, and even if you had everything, would you be happy? I'm sure you'd still find something missing, it seems that is human nature. But if we can overcome that, we can be happy although we have little, and share that happiness with others instead of idly perusing our own interests.

So, the original inspiration giver becomes the receiver. Thus, inspiration is contagious.

It reminds me of a friends post, someone who's in a small country in a small town with little amneties we're all so used to. The small things that make her day would often be scoffed at by someone as spoiled as most of us here in the US are. We can all learn some lessons if we just pause our lives and look at the world around us. Ok, I'm babbling, peace out world, good night, keep chasing your dreams, spread inspiration, thank god for all you have, and watch out for 1 legged bboys.

Halfstep

Some friends come, some friends go, but they're always friends.

Well it has been a really busy couple of weeks! Been trying to dance a lot, but getting sick last weekend has killed it! I haven't danced since last Friday and am reaaaally feeling it. I'm going to practice tonight if it kills me. So what been going on in the world of halfstep? One of my closest friends in DC is moving away. My first friend in DC actually. So I've been to like 3 or 4 parties for her already, dang that's crazy for one person to have like 8 going away parties...just leave already! Just kidding haha. But anyway, I learned a lot from this person, and she's one of my dancing role models. I wish her the best of luck in AZ, and I'm going to go battle her next year!!! Because as you all know next year will be the start of me becoming a sick bboy. :D Anyway, this person is the one who got me to try out for Culture Shock DC. Its been a really rough 6-8 months, and my choreography skills still really suck, but I'm making progress. And as stubborn as I am, I'm just going to keep trying. She gave me a really symbolic gift the other night that meant a lot to me. Its a bandana from the last culture shock performance starring her, and it was given with the promise that I wear it to my first performance, which will be soon I hope. I'm going to hang it in my room for inspiration and a reminder to never stop reaching for the impossible.

In other news... Some chums (no not chumps :@) from college are coming to visit me. These people don't really know the bboy halfstep that has evolved since Japan and DC so well. They are really excited to see me dance and I hope I can live up to the expectations lol. It will be really good to see Sujan again, I've got to visit him more in NYC. We are going to eat Momo!!! It will be good times. I even heard from Yash, my lazy Indian college roomy haha. He tried to get me to move to Richmond VA for a job. NOO WAY! I like DC for now. I also got to learn the whereabouts of a friend who's been lost to me for a while, and I'm really happy about that.

It makes you think about life. So many people come in and out of your life, some for mere seconds, some for years. Everyone has something to add to your life if you know where to look. Some people make you angry, some people hurt you, some are hurt by you, some bring you joy, teach you how to robot dance...ect...ect, but everyone has something to add. I'm a really REALLY shy person, and I feel so blessed to have been touched by so many people. I have a lot of good people in my life, have left behind a lot of great people in my life, and look forward to meeting many more wonderful people in my life. I only hope that I can add as much to these people's lives as they have to me.