To get away from work for 4 days is really a great thing.... Although times of holidays are when I miss my family the most. Its kind of hard if you think about it, to pack up everything and leave the place where you grew up, the friends you knew, the family that loves you. I did it almost 3 years ago. Was it hard? Yea it was, but it was my journey, my chance to make my own way. Is it everything I hoped it could be? Not yet, but its on the road, trucking along slowly but surely.
This was probably one of the harder holidays for me, because it was just me. But I was pretty happy to get a ton of texts from friends wishing me a happy holiday. I just chilled at home the whole day and ended up making myself turkey curry. I know it sounds weird...but it was pretty good. Strangely, if you don't bake turkey it tastes the same as chicken.
Thanksgiving night was when I really got to see my new family. I was really happy that modern was open and I was able to keep my thursday tradition. Almost all of CAB crew showed up and it was a really good time. It was one of the few nights I really felt on top of my breaking. Me and Alam battled Brie and Vince, and I was killing it.
Over the weekend I also met a new practice partner from AU, so now I have a place to practice a little closer to home. Also sat night was jc's bday throwdown and that was a lot of fun. Although I'm still not rockin it at that new place yet.
I guess being alone for so long makes you think about a lot of things. Like where is life taking me, how am I doing on this journey, and a lot of other things. I guess its not such a bad thing to have a long weekend alone to regain your perspectives on a lot of things.
In any case my mind got a nice break from everything and I feel pretty refreshed. Hopefully now I'll be a little less lazy about blogging. I also have a renewed vigor for practice.
Being's Thanksgiving is a time for thanks, here is goes. I'm glad to have my family, even if they are halfway around the country, I'm glad they support me even if they wish I was a lot closer to home. I'm thankful for all the new friends I've made here in DC, I'm thankful they've taken me in and accepted me, made me part of their lives. I'm thankful that even though I'm shy they always let me hang around. I'm thankful to be alive, God gave me a second chance 14 years ago, and I'm thankful that I've been able to make the best of it. I'm thankful to be a bboy and be part of the hip hop community. I'm thankful to be a part of culture shock DC, its another one of my families in DC, and finally I'm thankful to be a part of CAB crew, thanks for letting me be down with you guys!
Halfstep
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Confidence and dance
So I've been struggling with this for some time now. Having been bboying almost three years now, you would think I would have some confidence in my abilities...well I do to some extent. If you had asked me a few months ago, this wouldn't really have been an issue, but in my dealings in San Diego was a very humbling experience. Having tried so hard to learn the choreo for that one small piece and then failing to make the cut was the first attack of my confidence. Then while in San Diego, my one redeeming action would have been to really kill the cyphers, but I just wasn't feeling it, and that really killed my confidence. I kind of feel like I've been broken down to my earlier days of breaking when I had no confidence.
This I see as partially a blessing and also a great set back. Maybe this is a good thing in that it will force me to work on some things that I have been ignoring for a while in foundation, such as improving my footwork. And taking more time to learn new stuff. It is a great set back in that I don't feel the same on the floor anymore. Before I felt like I could really hold down the beat, and I never questioned my movements, they just came naturally, but now, I'm thinking so much that I feel really out of place.
This whole situation really makes me think about the role of confidence in dance. As with most things, it is a double edged sword. On one side of the spectrum, without confidence, you will never appear comfortable on the dance floor, you won't be in a groove, and people can tell by the lack of commitment in your movements. But on the other side, too much confidence and you become cocky, your style stops progressing, and you get a serious attitude problem.
How do you walk the fine line between the two? I know several dancers that do it quite well. Staying humble about your style is vital to being a good dancer. It is ok to know that you are a good dancer, but you should never fool yourself into thinking you're all that and a bag of chips. You will always have an off day, there will always be someone who can beat you, and there will always be a song that you just can't dance to. Hopefully all these don't happen to you at once. I think the next thing to keep in mind is to keep an open mind. From listening to house(the guy) a lot lately, I have learned a lot.
If you look at dance, every area has its own style. Every area has its own hero bboys/hero crews/whatever. I think one of the biggest trap to fall into is to judge an entire area of dance. Take for instance east coast vs. west coast. I can't really say what goes on in the west coast, cause I don't live there. But here in the east coast, everyone pride's themselves on having the best foundation/style. I let myself get caught up in that hype. I went to cali expecting everyone to be throwing all sorts of power and have no style at all. In a way I was kind of hating or looking down on them. I don't know why, maybe to feel better about my lack of being awesome. To make myself feel big. That is so counter productive, and I think that's one of the biggest reasons I was so let down. It was my own fault. Cali bboys weren't all about power, they had some awesome style. Are some bboys just power? Sure, but the same can be said anywhere. I'm going to stop listening to all that hype from people. Bboys are bboys wherever you go. There will always be some stylistic differences, but can you say bboys from place x are better than y? No...
I guess I'm just going to be extra humble for a while. I need to go underground again and work hard on my foundation and really structure the way I practice. I need to get comfortable with myself again and learn to just get back to the music. I'm going to try not to look at this as a bad thing, but a way to progress my style. You have to fall down before you can get up. Now that I'm a broken bboy, its time to rebuild, We can rebuild him. We have the technology. "We can make him better than he was. Better...stronger...faster."
Halfstep the humble
This I see as partially a blessing and also a great set back. Maybe this is a good thing in that it will force me to work on some things that I have been ignoring for a while in foundation, such as improving my footwork. And taking more time to learn new stuff. It is a great set back in that I don't feel the same on the floor anymore. Before I felt like I could really hold down the beat, and I never questioned my movements, they just came naturally, but now, I'm thinking so much that I feel really out of place.
This whole situation really makes me think about the role of confidence in dance. As with most things, it is a double edged sword. On one side of the spectrum, without confidence, you will never appear comfortable on the dance floor, you won't be in a groove, and people can tell by the lack of commitment in your movements. But on the other side, too much confidence and you become cocky, your style stops progressing, and you get a serious attitude problem.
How do you walk the fine line between the two? I know several dancers that do it quite well. Staying humble about your style is vital to being a good dancer. It is ok to know that you are a good dancer, but you should never fool yourself into thinking you're all that and a bag of chips. You will always have an off day, there will always be someone who can beat you, and there will always be a song that you just can't dance to. Hopefully all these don't happen to you at once. I think the next thing to keep in mind is to keep an open mind. From listening to house(the guy) a lot lately, I have learned a lot.
If you look at dance, every area has its own style. Every area has its own hero bboys/hero crews/whatever. I think one of the biggest trap to fall into is to judge an entire area of dance. Take for instance east coast vs. west coast. I can't really say what goes on in the west coast, cause I don't live there. But here in the east coast, everyone pride's themselves on having the best foundation/style. I let myself get caught up in that hype. I went to cali expecting everyone to be throwing all sorts of power and have no style at all. In a way I was kind of hating or looking down on them. I don't know why, maybe to feel better about my lack of being awesome. To make myself feel big. That is so counter productive, and I think that's one of the biggest reasons I was so let down. It was my own fault. Cali bboys weren't all about power, they had some awesome style. Are some bboys just power? Sure, but the same can be said anywhere. I'm going to stop listening to all that hype from people. Bboys are bboys wherever you go. There will always be some stylistic differences, but can you say bboys from place x are better than y? No...
I guess I'm just going to be extra humble for a while. I need to go underground again and work hard on my foundation and really structure the way I practice. I need to get comfortable with myself again and learn to just get back to the music. I'm going to try not to look at this as a bad thing, but a way to progress my style. You have to fall down before you can get up. Now that I'm a broken bboy, its time to rebuild, We can rebuild him. We have the technology. "We can make him better than he was. Better...stronger...faster."
Halfstep the humble
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