What freestyle dance is to me

I don't know what dance means to everyone else, but for me its such a powerful feeling. To me, freestyle dance is what the name implies, "freedom". When I started my journey as a bboy 3 years ago, I had no clue what dancing was all about. I've always had trouble expressing myself, letting go. Even as a musician I found it difficult to perform unless I was around my band or closest friends, and even then I know I was holding back. When I first started bboying, I didn't really know what it was, to me I just enjoyed the community, the challenge, and the workout. I couldn't dance, I had no rhythm. All I could do was a handstand. But I always felt welcome with the dancers, and they were always eager to try to teach me, to share their culture with me.

So how did shy Halfstep ever get the courage to perform in front of thousands of people? I have no idea, honestly. But I give the credit to the dance culture and community. To those people who cyphered with me when I could barely even do a 6-step. To those who looked past the fact that I couldn't dance and didn't seem to have much potential. To those who looked inside me and saw my heart and drive. To my crew CAB, the Assassins, the Waseda Breakers, and all the other dancers, thanks. Now that I know something about this dance and about the culture (although I'm far from an expert), I'll share with you what I think about freestyle.

Many dancers are afraid of cyphers, afraid of being in the spotlight in front of their peers. They think about their skill level, their moves, and what everyone will think..ect. Everyone has these trepidations, it is to be human. When they get nervous they lose confidence and can't feel the music, can't express themselves. But we are artists, we are dancers, we express ourselves through music and dance. When I hear a song, it triggers something inside me. The music gives me energy, gives me ideas, it makes me all those things I think in life that I'm not. When I'm angry, it releases those feelings, when I'm happy it enhances the moment, when I'm confident, it makes me feel bigger, and when I'm sad it gives me an outlet to vent my frustrations. To me I am just Harley shy, not so confident, but when I'm in that circle, I am Halfstep, my eyes have a fire in them and my whole persona changes. The more I dance, the more the lines between Harley and Halfstep become. I start to become all those things that I was not. All from allowing myself to be expressive.

For 90% of instances, I can overcome the fear of going out. I'm not worried about screwing up or that people will laugh at me. Thats not what this culture is about. We are all students and all will make mistakes. But we all share one common thread, and that is dance. If you don't love dance, why are you wasting your time? If music doesn't move you, why do you practice, why do you watch it? When I cypher with my crew I feel invincible, when they aren't there I know they are behind me. If you are just going to sit on the side and watch, and not share yourself as everyone else, you are only taking from the community. My crew calls these people "No souls." Those who sit on the sidelines and don't throw down till the jam is over to make it look like they had been dancing.

For me its frustrating to see talented dancers sitting out of the circles. They have so much to offer, but because of insecurities I don't get to see their art, their passion, their interpretation. And I remember what it was like to be there. To stare at everyone else having a good time, and not being able to let loose. I still feel that way at clubs sometimes, but when its time to cypher, when they call out the bboys, I charge the circle, ready for battle. I guess my inspiration for this post are those people. Never think you aren't good enough to freestyle. I got props when all I could do was a handstand, but when people see you are willing to be a contributing part of the community, you will get respect, you will get mentors, you will get piece of mind, and your piece of freedom.

Peace
Haflstep